Quickies!

Life - 

Friday night after work, we drive up to Topsham, ME and sign the paperwork on a rental! Hooray! No more crappy motel room for us! (Knock on wood.)


I won’t say more until it’s official, but things are looking very good and we are quite excited. This does mean that it’s likely that we won’t have any internet access for a while, but when we do, it will be because I ordered it myself and had it installed. In theory, that should make it more reliable….

REVIEWS OF UNUSUAL SIZE - 

5 Things About -

FILM - 

SHUTTER ISLAND

Directed by Martin Scorsese

Starring Leonardo Dicaprio, Emily Mortimer, Mark Ruffalo, Benjamin Kingsley

1 - We went to this thinking it was a haunted house mystery. It's not, it's a psychological thriller, but we were not disappointed.

2 - Shutter Island is directed beautifully. The setting is perfect and Scorsese's style, while recognizable from his previous films, felt different here, a bit more creative and spooky.

3 - GREAT supporting cast here. Von Sydow, Levine, Lynch, Haley... all actors that make everything they're in better. Ted Levine, best known recently for his role as Stottlemeyer in the TV show Monk is especially memorable.

4 - The location makes this film. Dicaprio was good, though I still think he looks too young for most of his roles, but without the location, this movie would have been a waste.

5 - We saw this in a little theater in North Windham. Old, a little run down, old-school seats and screens. Film scratches and pops. Five dollar admission. You know I was down with this joint. There was also a surprising number of older locals there, virtually no teenagers at all and only a few young couples. My theory is that they all drive into Portland to the swanky digital screens or the IMAX. Bah to that. Give me the grindhouse any day!

5/5

BOOKS -

THE THIEF WHO COULDN’T SLEEP
By Lawrence Block
1998, 256 pages

1 – An man who cannot sleep who bides his time by learning languages and joining lost causes finds himself wrapped up in a caper involving buried treasure, spies and revolutions, all in 256 pages? What an idea!

2 – An Idea that, while brilliant, does fall a bit flat in execution with some jumps in the story that feel missing and a bit confusing.

3 – The character of Tanner is one of my favorites now. A smart, resourceful insomniac that gets into all sorts of trouble.

4 – Some of the twists get pretty far-fetched, and aren’t quite convincing in a book this short, so it’s best to turn off your brain and enjoy the ride!

5 – Bring on the next Tanner novel!


3/5


CHERRY BOMB
By J.A. Konrath
2009, 304 pages

1 – FINALLY, the resolution to Konrath’s wicked cliffhanger in his previous book, FUZZY NAVEL, and it’s a great book, though the big answer to the cliffhanger, who was killed at the end of the last book, feels a little bluntly answered.

2 – Konrath, like the Always Stupendous Marshall Karp, mixes action and humor seamlessly, both sly, sarcastic jabs and out loud laughs.

3 – Kork, a scarred, sexy, demented killer, is a great character and a perfect nemesis to the detective Jack Daniels.

4 – A great mix of mayhem, mystery and enough fashion references that for a long time, I was pretty sure J.A. was a female… (That’s a compliment, Joe... I promise!)

5 – Slappy the monkey!


4/5


THE OUTFIT
by Richard Stark
2008, 224 pages

1 – Stark’s grim and clever Parker is back, focused on dealing with the “Outfit” a mob-esque crime ring that has Parker in their sights. They’d better watch out, Parker doesn’t take prisoners.

2 – I love the Parker novels. They’re hard-boiled, fast reads, a lot of fun. This was an interesting one because it wasn’t about a job or revenge really, just Parker getting rid of someone that is keeping him from his jobs.

3 – Like you would assume, the Outfit never stood a chance.

4 – I have a hard time not tearing through all of these books. They’re sitting there on my nook, taunting me. “Don’t read a different author, just read the next one!”

5 – A Snub Nosed .32!


4/5

A Pissy Subject

 Life -

Take heed fair reader, for today’s blog is a bit on the odd side. One might say in today’s nomenclature, that it is NSFW (Not Safe For Work) There’s nothing nasty, filthy, perverse or truly horrible within, but if you never wanted to know certain things about me, then turn back now! Skip down to the “Books” heading! Today I’m aiming to talk about  going to the bathroom. Hitting the head, making water, going potty, visiting the loo, and more specifically, the changes that occur when living in a different state.

Odd topic for a blog? Probably. Certainly for the blogs I frequent, though I’m sure there are blogs out there exclusively dedicated to bathroom activities. Those are probably extremely not safe for work. But it’s something that I’d noticed quite some time ago and I thought it was intriguing and now, here it is again.

After high school, I lived in California for a while. Not very long, but around a year. I’d actually gone down there from Idaho to visit my best friend Rob, who was living down there. The plan was for me to ride down with him, spend a few weeks and get a ride back North with his brother when he visited. Well, his brother ended up having car trouble or something and couldn’t make it, indefinitely. That left me stranded, sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor of Rob’s apartment with his dog, Devil, who was a little too fond of the sleeping bag.

Now that I think about it, there have been two times that I’ve found myself stranded while on a Rob-related trip. I can’t blame him for it, he and I went on many a trip, usually looking for antiques or comic books or antique comic books but this was the only other time I’ve ever been involved with a road trip that Rob’s brother, Derek was attached to. The other time was in Leavenworth in December.

It is suddenly very clear to me that I need to avoid any trip planning related to Derek at all costs. He is a bad luck charm, without a doubt.

AT any rate, I found myself stranded in Santa Clarita, CA, with Rob, his wife at the time and Devil. Well, we made the most of it, Rob and I got jobs unloading trucks at the local Wal-Mart and we worked out butts off. It wasn’t uncommon to have a paycheck with 10-20 overtime hours on it, and it was hard, strenuous work the entire shift.

At first, I hated California. It was hot, humid, ugly… It still is. I was miserable. I didn’t feel like moving, or breathing and my entire body felt like it had been doused in someone else’s armpit sweat.

Part of that was because, after living there for about a month, my own body chemistry seemed to change. My deodorant stopped being as efficient and I had to switch brands, and things started smelling different, more sulfuric, especially my urine. (Ooh look, now, you think to yourself, NOW he gets to the ooky part.) It may have been the water. Despite the residents protests, I drank the tap water and I drank a lot of it. I also ate a lot more fruit out there. At  the time it was plentiful, cheap and really fresh.

So I started smelling different. After a while I got used to it, the humidity stopped bothering me as much and things got into a type of rhythm. Then, I moved back to Idaho, riding the Greyhound bus, which was an experience that deserves a whole other blog.

Then, it happened again. About a month after living in Idaho, my body started changing. Now my pee smelled… dirtier, like a fresh, soil scent. Musty, I guess. 

Oddly, when I moved to Montana from Idaho, nothing really changed. Maybe the move wasn’t radical enough, the water and food too similar.

Now, here in Maine, it’s happening again. Only this time it’s a stronger ammonia smell, a sharp, almost vinegary smell. Am I sick? Are you for reading this? Probably the second part at least.

Maybe it’s all the malt vinegar on my chips or the questionable motel water that leaves you feeling kind of slimy after a shower. Even the soda tastes odd out here, a strange aftertaste in the back of your tongue.

All I know is that it had better equalize or I’d better get accustomed to it, ‘cause right now, it’s kind of icking me out.

Reading –

I’m still digging my nook. A lot. Which is why it annoys me so much that I now have cracks on the forward buttons on both sides of the device. I’ve read ten books since my nook came about 20 days ago, as well as half of Stephen King’s “The Stand”, which is the equivalent of at least one more book, and while that’s a lot of page turns, that is not that much. Not for a device that is designed to be used to page forward. That’s its entire reason for existing.

Barnes and Noble are replacing the cracked fronts, though it sounds like you have to send the entire device back when the new device arrives, rather than the more economical method of replacing the cracked bezel. I just have to decide if its worth getting a new one. I’ve looked at the alternatives, the Kindle and the Sony and for me, the nook worked the best for my needs, but man, I hate the idea of shelling out $280 for something that’s gonna be busted and cruddy looking after ten books. What will it look like after 50? I read 119 books last year. I’m not buying a new e-reader every year because the old one has crumbled to plastic pieces around me.

Grr.

A Mexican/Irish Restaurant

That's right, you heard me. A Mexican/Irish restaurant. What's better is that it's named PEDRO O'HARA's!

That's where we ate dinner tonight around the corner from Brunswick's charming downtown, down some stairs and through two layers of thick wooden doors. We were waited on by a charming lass with freckles that reminded us of our friends the Downey's back home in Idaho. Lindsay ordered the chimichanga, and I got the Blarney, a corned beef and swiss sandwich on egg-fried rye.

Surrounded by low ceilings, green shamrocks and hot peppers, we may have found our stomachs, gently removed, doused in dark beer and used as decorations in the basement of this old brick building. The food was good, though still not legit Mexican, it was passable and the fresh fries and corned beef sammich was great. Maybe I liked it as much for the innovative fusion of pub and cantina as I did for the food and service, but I could see us going back to 'ol Pedro O'Hara's place now and again.

We are in Brunswick to do a bit of home hunting. We saw a place tonight and have tentative plans for tomorrow too. To save having to drive here, drive home, sleep, drive back, then drive home again, we got a Sooper cheapo room at the Knight's Inn, courtesy of Mr. Shatner. Awesomely ghetto place. Flat pillows, rattly fridge, runny toilet, low showerheads, street noise.. But, and this cannot be said for our current abode, it does have a desk clerk that speaks some version of teenage girl english and it has internet.

And sadly, though the bed is not extremely comfortable, it is extremely more comfortable than the one at the Northeastern.  That's right, as of right now, I live in two motels and own a house in Idaho.  I'm the mogul of lame.

Tried doing my tax returns, forgot a couple of sheets, missing a couple, possibly one or two still in Idaho. Maybe I'll just pay someone to do it for me this year....

We're headed back to Windham tomorrow afternoon-ish, where we plan to watch house hunters on TLC, cross stitch, read and make a crock pot. We are indeed the very model of a lame-o individual, but I feel fine.

Please note - Patsy Oshamus' Pepsi that I ordered that came out as Coke that tasted like Pepsi may have had something in it. I feel funny looking. Or there could be fumes in the room.

At any rate, I'm off. The digital version of Stephen King's the Stand (Lighter than the real thing!) awaits in the depths of the nook. Fun "Fact" - Part of the story takes place in Ogunquit, Maine, which Lindsay and I drove through the other day. I am aware that this is not a very fun fact. I'm not certain, but I like to assume that Ogunquit it pronounced like so - Ah Gun Quit, like when a hillbilly says he plans to stop smoking. Example - "Ah gun quit smoking on Furvesdaye, that's when mah Child Sport is due and I gots to go to court."

nook!

Now Playing -
The Neverending Tick Of The Clock...

Life - 

For the last week, I have been the temporary Administrative Assistant for the district office at my work.

This is not a job I have any experience in, nor one that I’ve ever really had any desire to get experience in, but it has been an interesting week, make no mistake there.

Not a thrilling week though. It’s pretty obvious that they’re taking it easy, not giving me all of the tasks that a typical admin would do and as a result, I spend a good chunk of my time fiddling with things and trying to convince myself that I’m doing meaningful tasks. I dusted the plants. I spent fifteen minutes refreshing my email screen, waiting for an important missive, only to learn that it refreshes itself and makes a little beep when they arrive.

My boss, a very nice and good natured fellow has no problem with me reading my nook, but even with his blessing, I feel like I’m cheating, doing something scandalous and I feel obligated to  tuck it aside and check the computer screen when people walk past.

The worst part about the job though, is the drive. It’s apparently not excessive for this area, where up to an hour commute is not considered too long, but the 36 minute drive each way seems like a lot of wasted time to me.

Luckily, this is only a temporary post and I’ve just been officially notified that my next destination is in a store in Bath, ME. Which Lindsay and I loved on our visit. We started looking into places out there that accept pets last night and Lindsay is spending some time calling around today, in the hopes that we can head that way on Saturday and look at some potential apartments.

If I had the internet at “home” (We have not had it for a week now, if we want to check anything, we have to go to the office, rouse the landlord and make him let us into one of the closer rooms for a few minutes.)  I would post a photo here of the snow storm we got the other night. It was gorgeous and made for a bit of a harrowing and long drive home but true to the resident’s word, the street crews were on the ball and by morning, the roads were bare and clean and by nightfall, most of the snow we had received was melted away again.

Reading -

I am woefully behind on updating my reading, and I’m certain I’ve missed two or three books on the list, I just can’t remember what ones, and they’re all boxed away in Idaho. At any rate, here are the books I’ve read so far since the last update –


NIGHT FALL
by Nelson DeMille
2007, 512 pages

A WALK IN THE WOODS
By Bill Bryson
2006, 397 pages

BITTER TRUTH
By William Lashner
2003, 592 pages

KILL NOW, PAY LATER
By Robert Terrall
2007, 220 pages

THE CAMEL CLUB
By David Baldacci
2006, 624 pages

TIME TO MURDER AND CREATE
By Lawrence Block
1991, 304 pages

I’M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF
By Bill Bryson
2000, 304 pages

THE NEON RAIN
By James Lee Burke
2002, 275 pages

THE HUNTER
By Richard Stark
2008, 208 pages

THE SOUR LEMON SCORE
By Richard Stark
2010, 168 pages

GO-GO GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE
By Victor Gischler
2008, 336 pages

THE NIGHTMARE PEOPLE
By Lawrence Watt-Evans
2005, 203 pages



A few of these were read on the nook, my new little buddy out here in a land where I don’t have my personal collection and no library card. (They frown on giving those out to people with an Idaho driver’s license and no permanent address…) So without further ado, here’s my initial review of the nook, by Barnes and Noble -

Reviews Of Unusual Size - 

The Barnes & Noble nook

I had mightily resisted liking these at first, despite my interest in e-readers, but as I’d feared, I am blown away by the convenience of reading on the nook.

The screen is a nice matte grey-white and has very crisp, clear words that legitimately feel like reading a printed page. I was pretty shocked at that. I’ve read five books or so on the nook since getting it on the fifth of this month. That’s pretty good, though a few were shorter books than usual.

5 Things I LIKE about the nook –

 -1-   Incredibly portable and convenient. I have packed this all over the place since getting it, to work, bed, in the car… I even read it as I’m brushing my teeth!

-2-   The holding capacity. I have 148 books on my nook right now, 10 from B&N, the rest side loaded from my computer. It’s very simple to load and with the expandable SD slot, I’m only using up 1% of my available memory. That’s a lot of books in there!

-3-  The ease of reading. The screen is easy on the eyes, incredibly similar in terms of eyestrain to a regular book. Even to my headache prone brain, the nook is great.

-4-  Design. Though a bit gimmicky, I’ve come to like the touch screen at the bottom of the nook. It lets you access the menus easily and without feeling too foolish and when it shuts off,  you scarcely notice it’s there, it doesn’t interfere with your reading at all.

-5-  Page turns. Though the nook has the inherent page flashes as the e-ink screen refreshes with each page turn, it’s not that distracting, and scarcely takes longer than a real page turn, which is fully fine to me. It’s easy to turn the pages too, with buttons on both sides of the device and the option to flick the pages using the touch screen once it’s gone dark. I do keep thinking the buttons should be higher on the left side though, likely to do with how I hold it with my left hand.

5 Things I DISLIKE about the nook –

-1-  Despite the upgrade and ease of use, the nook is still very buggy. It freezes a bit sometimes and you have to reset it and it does silly things now and again, like taking you to the settings page in the midst of a book.

-2-  Battery life.  Though I’m pretty sure I’m using it more than anticipated, my battery only lasts for about three days, rather than the suggested ten. It’s not that big of deal though, and I have admittedly been playing with the touch screen a lot because it’s a new toy.

-3-  Durability. Despite the ease of packing the nook around, I’m still pretty paranoid about how fragile it seems. My particular nook suffers from a problem that a few have had, the left hand forward button has cracked slightly. This is something that B&N is fixing, but it does make me a bit concerned about future problems.

-4-  The usb connector port. This is a silly little thing, but there’s a tiny ledge along the port and it’s pretty sharp edged. This is also the one spot that my finger tries to rest every time I use this thing.

-5-  The outlandish cost of accessories. Most sleeves and cases for the nook that I’ve found so far run you around fifty bucks. That seems ridiculous. Instead, I bought a case at Target on clearance for fifteen that seems pretty great. I’ll try and get pictures posted eventually.


I’m also a bit concerned about how easy it is to order books on your nook. It’s extremely simple. Like to the point that I should disable my card just in case.

4/5

I’ll likely do a new review on this once I’ve had it for a while, to see how it still holds up.

Bath On Valentines Day

First off, let me say this - I dislike Valentine's Day. I think it is a silly holiday. If you're in love you shouldn't need a specific holiday to show that special someone that you care. It should be spontaneous and heartfelt, not court-ordered and made of pink cardboard.

This may all stem from some deep-seated resentment from not getting a valentine from my crush in first grade (Not a true story) but there ya go. I also think Groundhog Day is silly, but it's the kind of silly I can get behind.

Today, we went to Bath, Maine. Mostly because it looked like fun. Bath is on a peninsula and essentially surrounded by rivers, ponds, streams, puddles, islands, the Atlantic and trees.

I would give you a bit more of a historical view, telling you about the town and it's no-doubt awesome inhabitants but my grip on the internet is tenuous at best and I dare not risk it. Perhaps at a later date, when we can do more there than drive around admiring the variety of houses and their adorable and historic downtown.

Bath, as well as the other places we stopped, like Brunswick and Popham Beach were cold and pretty dead, though there were more shops open on a Sunday afternoon that I would have thought.

We also got lost, drove to the ocean, I found a good place to hole up in the inevitable case of zombie attack (Not telling you!) Saw a lighthouse from afar, peed in a scary public restroom with a ridiculously cold draft, ate a "Barbecue" potato chip with so much cayenne I couldn't breathe for a while and we saw CEMETERIES!

Linz and I are cemetery nuts, as anyone that visits here regularly knows, and Maine has been dead folk heaven for us. Old, glorious places with weathered slabs of stone and worn down engravings. We didn't stop at any, most were along the road and closed for the winter, but we made generous use of our ThomThom's Favorites feature and dutifully logged each as we came across it. This spring, we shall be extra morbid!

Starting tomorrow, I'm the temporary administrative assistant at the district office... Not sure what I think about this gig. They're doing it to be nice to my arm, I think, but I fear it shall be boring and slow. Luckily, I have my nook! Just too bad I didn't bring any cute skirts to wear.

Sinking In

We are in a kind of limbo.

We live in a building that is no home, with no internet access or ability to become comfortable beyond the small progress we've made.

Our pets are in Idaho, 3000 miles away and we've begun missing them, without a doubt. We spent a good amount of time at breakfast today staring wistfully at a dog in a car.

I really don't know where we are going to live in the future. All of the new assistants at work will have a store, a home base, and they've been decided, but no one actually knows where they'll end up. The bad thing there is that the district is big. Spread out, with a lot of different types of stores and locations. Tiny, urban stores in the heart of the downtown and tall rural buildings in small towns to the North.

I've managed to finagle a bit of info, a few vague hints about where I'll end up, and it looks like it will be to the NorthWest about an hour or so. This adds some level of difficulty to the house hunt, especially without having the internet for searching.

Oh yeah, and money is getting tight. My checks have been a bit smaller with the vacation time and the loss of Lindsay's income. We can't really find her a job until we get a town, so we're gonna have to pinch some nickels pretty thin in the meantime.

But we're still happy and enjoying Maine. It's just gotten to feel less like a vacation, but it still hasn't started feeling secure either. Maybe soon...

Frustration and Once Again, Work.

My internet here in the great state of Maine has become increasingly erratic and useless, more often than not just working long enough to anger me when it goes down again. Usually just after I've hit submit on something, causing me to lose anything I'd typed.

But that's okay. Apart from that, we really like it here. In the next few daqys we are starting to look for a house to rent or buy, will hopefully escape this goofy little apartment and good things will happen.

I started work three days ago. My new store is full of incredibly hilarious characters, the kind that should fuel many a blog. The store manager, really more of a circus ringleader than a manager has his hands full. I've worked three full days, doing the first actual labor I've really been able to do since my accident and each evening/morning, I feel it. My back and shoulder are stiff and sore, and my left arm, which is forced to bear the brunt of my work is quite unhappy with me.

It feels good to get back to work though, and every exertion makes things easy the next day. One of the pluses of working for my company is that most stores are very much like any other store, so getting adjusted to working in one only takes as long as you need to meet and get comfortable with the employees.

Over the next few months they will be, as my boss put it, whoring me out to other stores, helping out wherever I'm needed, both setting up stores and working in established ones. Next week I work in Augusta, an hour drive from Windham, where we've set up shop for now. I just hope things settle a bit eventually so that I can get into a groove and start writing again.

Pictures soon, just not now. I started uploading pictures a few times, but the connection failed before they loaded. Bah to the internet at the Northeastern Motel.

Maine - V - Catching Up...

The next few days kind of blurred together to an extent. A lot of driving around in our car, trying new restaurants, getting lost thanks to us and found thanks to the ThomThom, and generally getting used to the town we live in now.

It's starting to sink in that this is where we live, not just where we're vacationing. It's a lot of little things, but slowly you start realizing that you're doing tasks a resident does, not a visitor.

In the interest of keeping things pretty current on ere, I'm going to crack off a few updates by subject and then try and keep up.

LODGING -

We found a place to live, monthly, in the Northeastern Motel, a goofy strip of white along the road between Portland and North Windham. It's run by a fast talking Greek man who is neither fully trustworthy or competent. He's very nice, but has a vibe about him that makes me think we don't want to leave cash out on our dressers while we're gone. The monthly rentals are in a 3 floor building at the end of the complex and we were lucky enough to get a top floor, facing the woods beyond.

It's a simple place, a single bedroom, bathroom and kitchen/front room. There's no real furniture, just a queen bed in the bedroom, a twin in the front room, a couple of end tables and a small table off of the kitchen. There's also an ancient sink/burner/fridge set that has a busted fridge, used for storing dishes. To make up for that, next to the door there's an oddly thin fridge that also happens to be the loudest fridge ever. When running, it makes a hum that we can hear in the stairwell outside. On the rare times it stops the compressor, the silence in the apartment is palpable.

There is also reportedly an internet connection, though I've had better luck getting online in the middle of a forest than here most of the time. I think it's mostly due to being so far from the single broadcast station, at the opposite end of the complex in the office, but I'm not about to try and explain that to the owner.

CAR

It took a while. We had to rent the car for an extra three days as we increasingly desperately looked for a used car to buy. The Honda guy never got back to us, most of the other cars we found in our price range were pieces of rusted metal, scarcely road worthy. Then we found the bumbling and hilariously good natured people at a used car place down the road from our motel. Rex and Katherine, a couple originally from up north also do repairs and state inspections, which means they have to make the car stat-approved and sticker it before they can sell it, which is a huge plus. The inspections here seem pretty decent and it adds some comfort knowing that it's in the clear. A lot of the other places we went to would sell us a car in our price range, but it would be As-Is, with no inspection or implied passage of the inspection.

We chose a cool car, a big blue boat of a station wagon with a rear facing third row and in pretty decent shape. It drove a little rough, the turn radius was extreme on it and I was a bit concerned about Lindsay driving such a large car, but we liked it and it was in our price range. She convinced me that we'd be fine with her driving it. Unfortunately, once Re3x dove into he few repairs it needed, he found a good amount of rusted, crumbling metal under the rocker panels. He could fix it, but it would be a week and he didn't feel very comfortable selling it to us. Instead, he pointed out a few other options, and we decided on a 2000 Ford, a kind of misty blue color in good shape. It actually runs better than the other, it runs really well in fact. I think it will work nicely, especially for less than three grand after fees.

MISC

I start work in the next few days, I had to delay it while we got things established. I think that will also help make it feel like we're living here officially. Now if only Lindsay could find a job...

Target, Walmart, Goodwill and the grocery stores have been getting our business a lot lately, as we bought up essentials like towels, rugs, trash cans, little things that places need.

A couple of odd things we've found about the East so far. 

And correct me if I'm off on this, I've only been here for a few days -

A lot of take-out here. Buildings we figured would be sit-down turn out to be convenience store style places with a take out grill inside.

Sauces seem thinner.

Everyone uses a lot less seasoning, including salt and pepper. Most of the meals exist on the flavors of the food, not the sauces and spices. Not a bad thing, just a surprise.

Mexican food seems virtually nonexistent. We've found one that isn't a nationwide chain, and it was very much an American take on the food.

Lots of Asian places, so far pretty good ones.

People are pretty polite drivers, stopping for pedestrians and confused drivers from Idaho.


More later!

Maine - IV - Lots Of Dead Folks Out Here

Saturday. A bit warmer, though not much and we spent the day tooling around in our rental, getting lost again, checking out the city.

Portland boasts a good sized area out by the airport dominated by the Maine Mall, a mall that is actually alive and thriving, shockingly. Most of the malls we've visited in the West are half empty edifices, filled with faked in walls and empty promises about what's coming soon but never will show up. You usually find a few food places, a couple of teen centric clothing stores and the parasitic temporary booths that lock into the middles of the aisles, selling nonsense like head massagers and jewelry made of rice.

Here, it was thriving. Apple stores, Tea stores, game shops, gift places, clothes, decor, furniture. Pretty impressive! It took a bit longer than expected to explore the shops, but it was a kick to see so many people doing things that we used to see back home. It's more embarrassing to shop at the mall back in Idaho than fun.

There is also a complex nearby with a Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, a craft store, among others, and we finally decided to bite the bullet and pick up something we've probably needed for a while. Especially as often as we get "wrong state lost" on road trips. Our little GPS has been dubbed ThomThom, just to be special and until the update recently, had a woefully out of date map that happily led us into creepy dead ends that even we would have never chosen. Thanks, ThomThom! One trip, while looking for a Hannafords, a grocery chain, it led us into the dark, mysterious depths of a suburb. We figured it was gonna get to something eventually, but, though it tried, all it could find was a Hannaford Distribution Center in the middle of nowhere.

After a few minutes back in the room with our little square navigator though, we now have vaguely more accurate maps and ThomThom can now speak with the accent of a lovely Irish lass and in the comforting tones of a confused Homer Simpson. He gets outrageously excited when he actually gets us to where we wanted to go, so he fits in well with us.

There was still the matter of transportation and lodging, so we hit up any car lots and motels we passed. The Honda dealer was very nice and helpful, and we left with promises of a call about a car on Monday.

The highlight of the day? Not Macaroni Grill, which we had for lunch. Our waitress was blah and rude and maybe it's a East coast thing, but the sauces were so watery that they wouldn't stick to the noodles. Dinner was better, we ate at the impressive and low key Jan Mee a few blocks from our hotel.

But for us, the highlight, without a doubt were the abundant and stunning cemetaries. We didn't stop at any, it was too cold and we wanted to have time to really enjoy it, but we saw three that day. Including one, tiny, crazy, utterly shockingly located one right next to the light before Target. That's right, they have so many dead people that they shove 'em into the ground in a ten foot square of soil in the middle of no where. I assume it used to be some small family plot before they built the stores. I can't wait to find out!

Maine - III - In Portland

Portland, Maine was cold. Not just cold, but frigid, make your bones ache cold. Sunny, pretty blue sky, but hard to see through the icicles hanging from your eyelashes. Turns out, a day or so ago, we had missed forty degree weather, rain, melting snow, premature grass hesitantly peeking out. Then, an uncommonly fierce cold snap hit, right around the time we flew in.

Came with us or because of us, I cannot say, but clearly, my ego will not allow it to be anything but related to our arrival! We muscled through nonetheless and ventured blindly into the town.

We didn't really have a goal in mind; we couldn't check into our hotel for a while and we knew nothing about the place, so we just blundered around randomly! We drove between looming old buildings, stained with time, and cruised along high streets above the bay, lined with houses that, in Pocatello, would each have been an item of wonder and admiration. Here, though still admirable, to be sure, these houses were commonplace! Three and four story plaqces with rambling gables and shuffling towers. Thick pillars and stained glass. Needless to say, we wanted to break in to each, just to wander around.

Eventually, we found ourselves in the Old Port district, attempting to get into a visitor's center closed for the season. Denied, we drove a few blocks and parked, intending to walk along the street and look at the shops. That quickly turned into speed walking along the sidewalk, ducking into the shops in an attempt to find any shred of warmth available before our noses fell off. We even stopped into a relator. Sure, we'll be looking for a place eventually, but really, the next building was across the street and some distance away.

We ate at Gilbert's for lunch, our first meal in Maine. We had the fish and chips special and a bowl of clam chowder. Great food. The fish was fresh and very delicate and moist, the fries were thick, hot and served with malt vinegar and the chowder may be the best we've found in our travels so far. The service was good too, and the restaurant was liberally decorated with old photos and goofy knick knacks. The only downside was having to run five blocks back to the car to feed the meter.

After lunch, we drove around again, got lost a bit, got lost some more, found some of it, lost that, finally finding our superb and completely awesome hotel, The Inn At St. Johns. This hotel is Portland's longest running lodging house, standing three stories high and originally built to service the train yards nearby. Now it's close to the hospital and a few little restaurants and still has a lot of old world charms.

Colorful wallpaper, decorative chandeliers, punched tin roofs, everything about it made us happy and a bit jealous. The inn is totally old school, most have detached baths and while they have some modern amenities, like wifi and mini fridges, you still get the feeling of being in another time. We would have stayed there for a long, long time if we could have afforded it. (Although the bed was far too hard, and made me feel like a rusted spring in the morning...)

If you do think of staying at the Inn, and I think everyone should, do be forewarned, there is no elevator and the only way up to your rooms is by ascending a very steep, long staircase to the second floor. There's no messing around with this puppy. By the time I was done manhandling my oversized luggage up, I felt like I'd dislocated a shoulder and that the stairs had begun leaning backwards, looming over me like something out of a Tim Burton film.

For dinner, we dined across the street, after an aborted attempt to walk to what I'd thought was a nearby Rite Aid for kleenex. (Turns out, the drug store was about 6 blocks further along. Good thing we turned back!) The Pizza Villa was a hoot. Funny waitresses giving me sass and awesome lamb sausage pizza, meatball subs and soda for less than twenty bones. Approved! Then we headed back across the street and hit the sack.

Maine Part II - Laving On A Jet Plane

And for once, I truly do not know when I'll be back again! That's a cool and im,immensely scary feeling, the idea that I may not get back to familiar territory in quite a while...

Of course, the idea of a jet ride was also a bit nerve wracking because I'd just watched a few episodes of LOST, so maybe I was just projecting. Luckily, I was fairly certain the plane would not crash, at least not on a mysterious island, none of my fellow passengers were quirky and pretty enough.

The Salt Lake City airport is a pretty impersonal affair with big, blocky, generic signs everywhere and utilitarian design, but their help are all hoots, as the excited elderly say. Most were upbeat and funny, friendly and competent. Our bags barely squeaked under the weight limit and were promptly whisked away, hopefully to the same jet that we were headed to, and we hit the first real gauntlet of the trip... The security gates.

I have trouble with these things when I'm not packing a bag, swaddled in layers and encased in a splint and sling. After taking off my shoes, the size 14s filling a tray of their own, removing my laptop - its own tray, removing my coat and cell phone- own trays again, my gloves, hat, scarf, keys, rings watch.... Tray, tray, tray.... My assorted collection of trays made me feel like I was getting lunch for the entire cell block. Then they saw my cast and immediately summoned me to the clear plastic box of humility.

I got wanded, wiped, felt up, had to move a certain way, say the secret code (The rolling rock gathers daisies when no one is looking) and allow them to retain one inch of gauze, a tooth and three fingernail clippings.

Then we were through! The remainder of the ride to JFK was pretty uneventful. We rode JetBlue, which is a pretty cool joint. They give you unlimited snacks, have in seat TVs which thankfully, you can turn off, and the seats were pretty comfy. We sat next to a gentleman who was clearly going home from Sundance and may have been someone worth noting, but he was asleep a good chunk of the time, swaddled in $300 Bose headphones or watching 70's era David Bowie music videos. He did have a nice leather satchel and a simple rolling carry-on and moved about easily, as opposed to my 40lb messenger bag and bad wing.

I sat with my broken arm against the window and it worked pretty well, just some jarring, though I kept dropping things down the side and not being able to retrieve them. The nice asian lady behind us found some gum, a book light, a pen and my scarf on top of her carry-on when we landed.

I was interesting to ride a red-eye flight, most of the people slept and seemed quite content to. I tried, but being a non-sleeper anyway, found myself looking out the window at the sparkling towns below and reading quite a lot of the time.

JFK was a better airport. Clean, artsy, full of swank restaurants and stores, apart from the ungodly weight of my bag, we actually enjoyed our layover there, the only time I've been in New York. We had a goofy little omlet at a crowded restaurant and sat and read until our flight left.

The second jet was smaller, but the seats were actually more comfortable. The ride was a bit choppy and we were serviced by a young lady in a short skirt that seemed utterly sick and miserable and a handsome black man in glasses that was pretty hilarious.

I discovered here that I am utterly crap at photos with my SLR and a busted arm, taking a few shots of our first view of Portland Maine as we landed. It was a relatively painless process to rent the car, though I thought it odd that they didn't blink at the idea of renting it to a one-armed man, and we piled into our compact dark red Kia to explore our new home for the first time!


..... To Be Continued!

Scenes from a Macaroni Grill in Portland, Maine

Have you ever been to a grandparent's birthday party where everyone ignores the lady of honor entirely, instead chatting with everyone else there, acting as though the old lady in the corner doesn't exist? Apart from a few brief sentences of greeting and farewell, she sits there, knitting quietly, alone in a crowd. At least, until check time rolls around, when suddenly everyone else seems a bit short and can't pay for their rum cake, let alone their lasagna and salads.

It's amazing how some people can get blinders on and not notice things like that sometimes.

Maine Or Bust!

It was time to take off. Maine was calling us, begging us to leave brown, dreary, land-locked Idaho and come sample their snowy, ocean swept lands for a time.

It's been a rough few weeks prepping for the move but finally, Thursday morning, we gathered the last of the luggage and gave our pets, our kids, really, a last, heartfelt goodbye and left for Salt Lake City, where we would leave on a red eye for New York's JFK and then, Maine. Portland, to be more precise.

For some strange reason, as we loaded our hefty bags into the in-laws car and drove to Utah, it never really clicked that we were MOVING, not just taking a vacation. It was strange to think that such a momentous thing was happening, yet it felt more... exciting than scary. I can't help but think this is a good thing, that it means we're confident about the future and that it's right for us, not that we are making some sort of horrible mistake. We're pretty cautious folks and think things through pretty thoroughly. A lot of people are acting like we may be a bit simple or our heads are in the clouds, but the timing seems right to us.

We have someone to live in the house (HI mom and Ben!) we have no human children, we are young and energetic - what's to keep us from trying a new adventure, one that may prove to be the place of our dreams?

So we went for it. Broken arm and all, we said yes to my transfer and took off, with fifty pounds of life in black bags each (Plus a carry-on, of course!) to start a life three thousand miles away.

No car, no home, one of two jobs... We've got some days ahead that should be pretty interesting!



The first day was.... Less  heartwarming and loving farewell than we thought it would be.

We planned to spend it in Salt Lake with Lindsay's brother, sister in law, their son, her sister and her parents. We managed some of that. Her sis in law, Cami was amazing! She took the day off, took James, her son out of school, all to spend the day with us, and it was a blast! We went shopping, inadvertently spent a while at the thrilling and well designed Children's Museum without paying for the privilege, looked at wallpaper so that Sue could re-do her dining room, bought craft supplies, all with a good amount of giggling and enjoyment.


I do have to say that it was a combination of bad planning and a generally crappy city, bit some of the thrill was sapped by the long drives between the stops, often seemingly circling the entire city and driving past previous stops to get to the next destination, but overall, the first part of the day was really nice.

The dinner was delicious, though bittersweet. There were a few things that kind of annoyed me, but nothing worth noting, not here. Afterwards, Marissa and her BFF, Ron left. He had to work the next day and she declined to stay with us. So we headed over to the Barnes and Novble where I hoped to fondle a nook, my new item that I covet openly, gently poking at it in public, eyes tearing up with joy.

There was a pretty amusing moment in the book store when a wide eyed manic librarian type tried to convince me that I MUSTMUSTMUST read Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and that my son (James, who looks nothing even remotely like me) and I would adore it! She even shouted at us from across the store at one point, agreeing with a whispered conversation we were having together. Those library types have ears like bats!

Anyway, we tussled with a haunted trash bin and eventually met up with Dylan and Rich and we headed to D's house. We were a bit worried about our luggage. We could each only bring one carry on and one checked bag. The Carry-on had to be a certain size and the checked had to be under fifty pounds.  When you are bringing everything you'll need for at least 3 months in two bags, it's incredibly hard to limit yourself like that, especially when you read as much as I am wont to do.

Luckily, according to extremely unscientific method of crookedly setting a bag on the bathroom scale, each weighed in at just under the limit. Which was good cause otherwise, I was gonna have to line my pants with Hard Case Crime books and shove a couple of William Lashner novels into my underpants.

They don't really leave you a lot of room for tearful goodbyes in airports any more. In SLC, you have around a hundred feet that common folk can be before you enter the exclusive realm of the ticket holder. Rich and Dylan dropped us off and lingered as we loaded our (Barely) under fifty pound bags, then we were on our own, ready to fly to a different part of the world. Yeah, same country, but no one can tell me it's the same part of the world. I mean, their ocean starts with an "A" and no one knows what fry sauce is!

And that's all ya get for now!  I'll try and write more later, but we're off to dinner now!

Hahahhahahah Serialized cliff-hangery! I love it!

(Well, that and the fact that typing still hurts my arm and I have a LOT of ground to cover....)

Countdown...

It's getting there, the farewell party is done, the furniture and boxes have been moved, bags are (mostly) packed.

Tomorrow, we head to SLC to spend a bit of time with Lindsay's family and then, that night, leave for Maine!

I'm hoping to get a more up to date blog written, more elaborate and full of pithy insight and beautiful sentiments, I'm sure, but for now, this is what ya get.

Get To De CHOPPAH!!!

I have a confession to make.

It isn't about me, so I don't feel that bad revealing this, but maybe I should.

Today, someone dear to me, someone educated, fairly movie savvy and politically minded, let slip a misunderstanding that had apprently never come up before.

He, or she, since they were a kid, and until a few hours ago, had fully assumed that Arnold Schwarzenegger was Australian.

Rolling in laughter ensued. Tears, shortness of breath, images of the Governator wrestling crocs and boxing kangaroos. The word "G'Day" as spoken with an Austrian accent...

This was possibly the highlight of my week, hell, month!




Apart from that, not a lot to report. My arm is slowly getting some flexibility back, and with it an intense amount of pain as ill-used muscles start to get used again (OIL CAN!) and tonight is my last night of working the graveyard shift at the Pocatello Walgreens.

After that, it's Maine time, baby!

Grind, Grind, Grind.

Life - 

I spent the last few moments of spare time I've had doing some monotonous packing related things, going through magazines, making some lists, trying to use up the last of our kitchen crap.

We're having a little going away party on Sunday, have a couple of days after that, then we fly off for Maine! Which means we're doing pretty good on the packing front, but still have a good chunk to do. We're hoping to convince our friends to move a few things on Sunday. I'm not much good with just my left arm...

We cooked Beignets for breakfast today. Yum!

I watched the Others last night, the first time since I bought the DVD, I believe, and even knowing the ending, maybe because I knew it, the film still seemed really powerful. Eerie and full of gothic dread. I forgot how much I liked it!

Writing - 

I actually sat down and re-read my revised first half of the Whispering Ferns the other day, I'm quite pleased with how decent I think it sounds. It needs some polishing, and I still have another 20,000 words to revise, but I'm starting to get excited about the idea of sending it out to agents!

Freedom, Of A Very Limited Type

We spent yesterday in nearby Idaho Falls, primarily attempting to sell some DVDs, CDs and books that we'd deemed superfluous. We were hoping to get some extra cash for the trip and have a few less boxes laying around.

First off, I have to make one thing abundantly clear. I despise Idaho Falls. Now, keep in mind, what I'm about to say is a generalization and naturally does not apply to everyone and everything there.

Everyone in Idaho Falls is rude, uptight, snobby, grumpy and generally incompetent. They're either middle aged and drive spendy SUVs and Pickups or they're punk teenagers tooling around in sporty foreign jobs that their parents bought. No one shops at the local stores and restaurants and everyone there seems just happy as can be with the whole situation. It's like they prefer pissy, incompetent service and poor selection of local treats.

The town is also laid out horribly, with rambling, nonsense streets that suddenly curve and take you to no man's land and no attempt at a grid system at all. I've been driving or riding around IF my entire life and have still never gotten a grasp on the streets. Bah.

So why do people go to Idaho Falls? Because, inexplicably, they have all of the chain stores that you can imagine, while Pocatello has virtually none. The cities are about the same size, but IF is certainly a more affluent town, or at least feels that way. They have a Michaels, Hot Topic, Old Navy, Barnes and Noble, Chili's, Outback Steakhouse, Target, Best Buy, Hastings.. the list goes on, all stores that Pocatello does not have.

We went to sell our books at a large used book store there called Book City, and to sell any of the media Budget here in town passed on at CD World and Hastings. Also, I went to fondle the demo Nook at the B and N, as I can't order one until we have a stable address in Maine.

For the most part, our quest was pretty unsuccessful, Hastings, despite calling ahead, said they didn't have time to look at them and in typical crappy service fashion proceeded to treat us like poo. CD World was pretty good, Linz spent a bit of time flirting with the clerk and when we returned he bought about a third of the two boxes we brought, for around a hundred bucks.

Book City was our great hope. We had three boxes of decent paperbacks, pretty good titles, like Patterson, Kleypas, Anthony, Crais. Stuff that we had doubles of or were less impressive than we'd thought they'd be. The night before I went through them all and removed any stickers and mess, discarding any in poor shape. When we dropped them off, the clerks were very friendly, looking eagerly at the boxes we dropped, though they did seem a bit put out when we told them we wanted back any books they passed on. They wanted us to donate them to the store. That was a bit odd.

Now, as a breakdown, in most stores that sell used books, they have a pretty tidy system. You buy a used paperback at half cover price. You can trade it back to the store for a quarter cover price. If you want cash, they'll usually give you a buck or so less, more like an eighth cover. This works out pretty nice, you get a decent chunk of what you paid back, especially if you bought it used, and the store manages to make around a fifty gross on their sales, an enviable margin for most businesses!

Yeah, not at Book City. They selected about a third of the titles we brought in, still a pile of books. We were pretty excited to see that, it was still  around 40 books, so roughly $40 trade, we figured. HA, YOU FOOL! No, at Book City, they prefer to rape the suckers that sell and shop there, and only offer a quarter to twenty cents on a book. That's right, they pay you a shiny quarter and then turn around and sell the books for half cover price, around four bucks. They pull down roughly 85% profit on their books.

I've worked in a lot of different retail fields and I would have been crapping my pants at the idea of making that kind of profit. Needless to say, we laughed in their faces and took back our books. We'll just save them and sell them at a yard sale for a greater profit than they're offering! Freaking money-grubbers. I'm amazed that anyone sells to them, but they actually have a huge inventory, which just goes to serve my theory about people in Idaho Falls being a bit cracked and not nearly the penny pinchers that Pocatellans are.

Apart from that, we shopped a bit, bought some frilly underthings at Victoria's Secret, then made the kid at the  game store blush when we told him he could put Lindsay's video game screen protectors down in the same bag. We also ate at an excellent locally owned diner, Cedric's. They had hand battered fish and chips, all fresh and awesome and the next morning we went back for huge omelette's and perfect hashbrowns, supplemented with fresh scones with honey butter and perfect cups of coffee. When we walked out, perfectly sated and happy, we saw how full the crappy chain restaurant was just down the street, while Cedric's was maybe a sixth full. A Damn shame, says I.

People, stop eating at chains! Their food is crappier, their portions are smaller, the servers have no sense of pride or joy.... It drives me crazy when people chose to eat the same unremarkable meal at a Perkins that they can get at every other Perkins in the US rather than trying a local restaurant. Sure it's safe, if safe=Identical and Unimpressive. Take a chance, guys!

Uhh, rant aside, check out my blogging skillz! I'm currently typing sans splint, after giving my right arm the first dose of badly needed water and soap it's had since my accident a month ago. Not to be too gross, but the feeling of the dead skin sloughing off my arm was both wonderful and horrifying. This was the first shower I've taken with the cast off, rather than wrapped in a plastic sheath, and the hot water pounding directly on my dessicated arm and stiff shoulder muscles was a godsend. Now it's back into the sling for safety, but today gave me a feeling of success that has lifted my spirits far more than any lousy shower should do.

I also slept in the bed in the hotel room we got in Idaho Falls yesterday for a few hours. Hooray, I'm on the mend!

It Was The One-Armed Man!

Life - 

So... packing to live in a different state, in a bit of a hurry, possibly a wee overwhelemed. What could make that rougher? Trying to do it with just your left arm. Ugh. I I've never been more frustrated and annoyed in my life than I am now, watching my small wife try and move boxes, straining to budge something that would normally have been pretty simple for me to lug around. I can't even really pack things, it's amazing what little things you do with two hands that you kind of just assume in the back of your head are one-handed things.

And it still takes me forever to put on a pair of socks.

However, we are making pretty good progress, the house is gradually becoming echoey and barren, moreso than any time in the recent packing binges we went on, and it's comforting.

I've spent a lot of time this month trying to be excited about the move and not really pulling it off, theres just been too many other stresses. It's starting to sink in though, things are getting real, and I'm getting more excited about our adventure.



I had another appointment the other day for my arm. It's healing very well, in fact, they almost decided to take me out of the splint. They actually said that they'd hoped this plan would work, but were pretty sure it wouldn't and they'd have to operate. Hooray, I guess! I have some excercises I have to do now, mostly stretching and flexibility. My muscles have atrophied to the point that it's almost frightening. I've never felt the bones under my shoulder before, bones that now are clearly very close to the skin. I have a long road ahead to build my arm back up.

Reviews Of Unusual Size


Books -


FATAL FLAW
by William Lashner
2004, 576 pages



HOSTILE WITNESS
by William Lashner

 1996, 608 pages

 PAST DUE
by William Lashner
2005, 576 pages



ALTAR OF EDEN
by James Rollins
2009, 416 pages



POINT OF IMPACT
by Stephen Hunter
1993, 592 pages

Once again, I'm a little too pressed for time to give these books a proper evaluation, but I thought I'd get them listed all the same. I found a new author this month, William Lashner, who writes legal thrillers based in Philadelphia. I started with PAST DUE, which I found in a thrift store and loved his eye for dialogue and characterization enough to run out and buy three of his others. I really like his stuff, his characters are a little rougher around the edges, sarcastic and grey-souled, a really pleasant change from the usual heroes of legal thrillers. I also discovered from his website that he was the author of a different book I'd read last year, KOCKROACH, which he wrote under a pseudonym. I dug that book and it was kind of amusing to realize that I'd read a book by the author I'd "Discovered" already.

Writing - 

I actually wrote a bit the other night, mostly just trying to find a comfortable position. I wrote a new intro to the Whispering Ferns, something I like, but probably wont use.

The Last Sentence - 

As Smith grew, his fascination with the old museum and it's secrets grew with him.

From - "The Whispering Ferns" (WIP)

Packing...

I'll try and get an update in soon, honest.

The next step, Portland!

SO last year, right around now, Linz and I were in serious discussions to take over a small motel in Seaview, WA. The place had a lot of charm and was in a great spot, but it was pretty run down, owned by a fellow that no longer cared about the business. All was looking well, and we had extremely high hopes for the year to come.

Well, turns out that the owner did have a love of something related to the motel, the almighty buck. Once he started asking for more than we'd agreed on, more than we could have afforded comfortably to give, things fell apart. In retrospect, this was a good thing, it would have been a lease to own deal and frankly, we would have been miserable trying to run it while he still had his fingers anywhere near the property in any way.

Since then, as a slightly vindictive side note, the motel has gotten some very unfavorable reviews and is still for sale, now for quite a few years.

After the motel deal fell through, we had a pretty rough year, a few setbacks, though looking back, it wasn't as bad as it seemed at the time, and we also managed to start new goals for our future; writing!

We have both written books, as well as started on multiple others each. Lindsay is in the process of finding an agent and has had a few favorable responses so far. I submitted my book, The Whispering Ferns, a kids ghost story/mystery to the Delacorte Press New Writers Contest. I lost and amusingly, after the contest ended with no winner announced, they ended the contest for the future, after 18 years. My book is apparently that bad, ladies and gentlemen! Ha!

So 2009 seemed rough, but was filled with some nice milestones all the same. I'm pretty sure that my busted arm in December helped make it out to be bleaker than it was; December and January just aren't the best of months for us!

Towards the end of the year, Lindsay and I decided to try and transfer with my job to the Oregon/Washington area. We really love it out there, We're enchanted with the ocean and the lush forests, I love the rich culture of myth and irreverent history of the area too.

So we took a trip out there and checked out a few areas, applying for transfers when we got back. Unfortunately, we have bad timing with this kind of thing, just a few months earlier, Walgreens, my job, instituted yet another ill-conceived money-saving plan with the structure of their stores. In every store, as Assistant Managers left or were fired, rather than promoting, transferring or hiring new managers, the stores were ordered to create a new position in the stores, something called a Shift Leader. This position is essentially a manager with all of the responsibility and expectations, but none of the support, ability and pay.

This also means that for me to get a transfer into any established store, that store would have to lose two managers and not have any immediate local replacement or be willing to choose me instead. It didn't seem hopeful, but we tried anyway, contacting every store in the area, throwing the net far and wide.

Then, on a whim, we threw the net a bit wider and we pulled something fascinating in from the depths of the ocean, an offer. And not just an offer, but an offer from a district manager that is personable, friendly and funny, who seems excited about the idea of working with me, in an area that could mean a lot of opportunity for me if I choose to progress with Walgreens.

It's a pretty short deadline though, he needs me out there asap to aid in building and setting up stores where once there were none, so we've been scrambling to pack and prepare.

Our plane leaves on the 27th of January. Our plan is to fly there, stay in am monthly rental motel for a bit while we look for a place to live with our pets. Once that's secured, we'll fly back to Poky, buy a new Element and drive the kids and a few additional essentials out to our new home.

Where's that you ask? Well, if you read the title of the post, it should be somewhat clear, It's Portland! What isn't completely clear though, is that on January 27th, we're flying to live in Portland, Maine! 

Yeesh, this is going to be one exciting new year! more as it comes, but wish us luck, and stick with us as we document the trials and tribulations of moving 3,000 miles away from any family and friends and attempting to become published authors, debt-free, and eventually, owning our own motel! 



And yes, I am aware that we are unabashed dreamers, but we figure someone's dreams have to come true every now and then, why not ours?

Quarterly Reading Update - 4th Quarter, 2009

In the last quarter of 2009, I read 27 books, for a total of 9,077 pages. That averages out to around a hundred pages a day. I read a lot more adult novels this time, only six YA/MG books, mostly due to the fact that I read a lot of books from thrift stores this quarter and there isn't often decent kids books there.

Here's the list for this quarter -

IGRAINE THE BRAVE by Cornelia Funke

DIE TRYING by Lee Child

JUDGE & JURY by James Patterson and Andrew Goss

THE MUMMY, THE WILL AND THE CRYPT by John Bellairs

THE JURY  by Steve Martini

CHASING DARKNESS by Robert Crais

TERMINAL FREEZE by Lincoln Child

HOLLYWOOD TOUGH by Stephen J. Cannell

NUCLEAR JELLYFISH by Tim Dorsey

BACKFLASH by Richard Stark

FALSE DAWN by Paul Levine

THE WRATH OF THE GRINNING GHOST by John Bellairs and Brad Strickland

GONE FISHIN' by Walter Mosley

THE MYSTERIOUS BENEDICT SOCIETY by Trenton Lee Stewart

BLASPHEMY by Douglas Preston

KING CON by Stephen Cannell

THE LONGEST CHRISTMAS LIST EVER by Greg and Evan Spiridellis

SHIVER by Maggie Stiefvater

THE CORPSE WORE PASTIES by Jonny Porkpie

KILLER'S CHOICE by Ed McBain

SHOOT HIM IF HE RUNS by Stuart Woods

AT RISK by Patricia Cornwell

HONEYMOON by James Patterson & Howard Roughan

NIGHT THUNDER by Ruby Jean Jenson

THE SOMNAMBULIST by Jonathan Barnes

THE STRAIN by Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan

THE HUNTED by Wayne Barcomb

Favorite book this quarter - The Strain, almost definitely, though I really enjoyed Shiver and Chasing Darkness too.

READING TOTALS FOR 2009

1st quarter
20 books, 7772 pages

2nd quarter
37 books, 12202 pages

3rd quarter
35 books, 10941 pages

4th quarter
27 books, 9077 pages

That gives me a total of 119 books, 39,992 pages,
109.6 pages a day or roughly 1 book every three days

A lot of great stuff this year, I expanded my reading to include a lot of Mid-Grade, noir, legal thrillers and bestseller books that I've never really read before. Obviously, the Mid-Grade comes from wanting to read what I'm writing, but I'm not sure why the bestseller style of books have been so appealing to me lately. I think a good portion is that they're brainless fun, something I needed this year, some escapism.  My favorite book, without looking at my individual reviews was probably Flipping Out, by Marshall Karp, a hilarious and smart writer that more readers need to discover. I also really enjoyed The Strain, Cabinet Of Wonders, The Corpse Wore Pasties and Shiver, all for very different reasons.

Tomorrow, I will be announcing a dramatic and exciting change in our lives, and it could radically affect the books I read and how I read 'em, but I feel pretty confident in hoping to hit a hundred books again in 2010. This was the first time I've tracked that kind of thing, and it was great fun. I know I've read more books than this in years past, but 119 is still an incredibly respectable number.

Now it's time to dive into 2010!

Christmas Holiday 2009

Life - 

Life carried on when we returned to Poky. I wouldn't say it got back to normal, but things weren't too bad. The main thing was my arm. I started getting extremely claustrophobic at times, I'd get shaky and nervous, sick to my stomach. I also noticed the cold a lot more, getting hot and cold flashes seemingly at random, with the cold always starting in my right arm. I suppose that it will alway sbe more sensitive, I can be one of those old sailor types that talks about feeling things in their bones.

It was, if anything, harder to get back into the spirit of Christmas after the accident. Money was extremely tight, I had regular doctor's visits, despite my injury and utter uselessness, I was working still, we still found ourselves surrounded by the chaos wrought by having my mom and brother move in, it was a trying time.

The worst was my feeling of complete worthlessness. It took me 27 minutes to wrap a single Christmas gift. I could barely dress myself or use the bathroom and any of those things took forever to do. Typing was out of the question, it hurt too much and was nearly impossible. I couldn't sleep in the bed, I got too claustrophobic and felt like I was trapped, so since coming home, I've slept in the chair in the front room. (In an area that my wife has deemed my "wallowing hole")

I did not have high hopes for the holiday itself.

Turns out, I was incredibly, happily wrong on all counts! Christmas was an absolute joy. It was the first year I've had off since I ran the Chevron, seven years ago, and just that was great.

We woke up early, or at least I did, I always have been one of those kids that rushes down the hall to wake my mom at 5am on Christmas morning, but to my credit, I resisted waking anyone until 7am this year.

We spent the morning with my mom and brother, opening gifts and eating a breakfast casserole. I may not be a kid anymore, but I have to admit, the gifts I get from my side of the family always make me feel like one. I got a Kermit the frog beanie cap, an Indiana Jones Lego set (Something that was devilishly hard to put together left handed, by the way) A Lawrence Watt-Evans book, just a lot of really great, fun stuff. The crown jewel was easily my brother's gift, a Muppet Whatnot, from FAO Schwarz! Love these things, and have always wanted one. He initially designed one to look vaguely like me, but in the end he looks more like Roy Orbison, so I've named him Orbie. Now I just have to get better so that I can work him and find my Muppet voice for him!

After a while, we headed over to Rich and Sue's to spend Christmas with them. My brother and sister-in law would be arriving later on, driving up from Salt Lake City, and it was kind of nice to spend the morning alone with Rich and Sue. We opened gifts, I dozed a bit, nice and relaxing.

I always get more adult gifts from Lindsay's family, and it's fun having it both ways. They gave us a good chunk of clothing, especially socks, something that I was in dire need of. We also received some really nice cooking supplies, a book on Idaho Outlaws, Linz got some new shoes, once again, a really generous haul!

We were also fortunate enough to be given a gift from an anonymous Christmas Angel, something to help us with the difficult month we'd had and were having and I want to take a moment to sincerely thank that person, whoever it was. Your gift meant a tremendous amount to us, and will make a big difference.

Eventually, Marissa, Dylan and Cami arrived and the Christmas party fell into full swing, with wrapping paper flying, people wrasslin' family photos, goofing off. Pretty fun stuff for a buch of adults!

Later that evening I started feeling groggy and sore so we went home, relaxed for a while and topped off the night with a round of board games with my mom and brother. Really, a great Christmas, one of the best in recent memory.

Book Reviews

This isn't really much of a review, more of an update. I just have too many books that I've read to properly review them, even in my abbreviated "five things" format.  wanted to post them though, so that in the next few days I can post my official End Of Year reading totals. I haven't kept a very close eye on numbers yet this year, so it should be fun to see what I ended up reading!

Anyway, here are the books I've read since my last update on December 8th:

IGRAINE THE BRAVE

by Cornelia Funke

2007, 224 pages

DIE TRYING

by Lee Child

2006, 576 pages

JUDGE & JURY

 by James Patterson and Andrew Goss

2007, 434 pages

THE MUMMY, THE WILL AND THE CRYPT

by John Bellairs

1985, 176 pages

THE JURY

by Steve Martini

2002, 336 pages

CHASING DARKNESS

by Robert Crais

2008, 391 pages

TERMINAL FREEZE

by Lincoln Child

2009, 448 pages

HOLLYWOOD TOUGH

by Stephen J. Cannell

2003, 376 pages

Considering my arm and the pain meds made it ridiculously hard to read a lot of the time, eight books in the last 23 days of 2009 isn't too bad!

The Bone-Breaking Leavenworth Trip of 2009 Part IV

t

Take a look at that picture up there. Sheesh.  My second Honda Element, totalled. My second accident I walked away from with only minor injuries (though granted, my injuries are less minor this time) Both times, things could have been much worse. Much, much.

Instead, I woke up and got to deal with what comes after a wreck like this, trying to sort crap out and deal with the inevitable aches and pains.

Here's what we have on the morning of December 15th, 2009. No car, ipso facto, no transportation home. Some strong pain pills but not strong enough to prevent the pain, not really. An insurance company that takes things easy around the holiday. No coverage for rentals but thats okay, there are none for a hundred miles and will be none for at least three days, not unless we want to drive to Seattle. I have no coat, and only one glove. Despondant  or just plain pissy members of the party be ready to mutiny. My best friends still need wed. We don't really have a place to sleep tonight.

Did I mention that we were utterly and completely stranded 700 miles from home? Four people, my wife forgot her ID, low on funds and with my busted arm, comfort and fear of blood clots are very real concerns.

Bah. First thing's first, essentials out of my battered vehicle, then a coat that doesn't look like like a child's cape on my shoulder like the borrowed one I'm packing.

The guy at the wreckers was a doof. Let us in, let us take crap and leave without ever having us sign a few very important papers, I mentioned this to him, but he seemed okay with things. Strontium, poor Strontium was a wreck, his front tire and part of the axle in the back seat, everything cracked and shattered.

But you should see the other guy.... right here!

Dude knows how to bounce off us and hit a tree, I'll give him that!

Apart from the wrecker, who, lets face it are generally a scummy bunch, everyone in Leavenworth was incredibly, ridiculously, over the top nice. All of them. Nice, sweet, caring, friendly.

The ladies at the Aussie shop there especially, they took me under their wing, so to speak and made it thier mission to find me a coat. They had a few there, but mostly out of my range, so they sent us around town looking for cheaper/free coats. No luck, but the town was PRETTY. Snowy and gorgeous.

After our search we hit the Australian store again and The Ridiculously Nice Clerks From Heaven/Australia sold me a pretty nice coat that was on clearance.  After that, we headed back to the house and tried to hash out how the crap we were gonna get home.

Lindsay couldn't fly or bus or train, no ID. No rentals available. Finally, we decided that Devon and Lindsay would cram themselves and most of our luggage into the back seat of Derek's sports car and ride back with him the next morning. Ben and I would mail whatever we couldn't fit or take with us, and we would ride the Amtrac to Whitefish, MT.

Derek would drop Lindsay off in Missoula that day and we would meet her the next morning, after getting a ride from my awesome aunt Jo from Whitefish to Missoula. From there, Rich, my father in law, drove up and would fetch us in Missoula and finally, bring us home.

That settled, we dove into the far more pleasurable task of marrying my friends. No Santa suit, but aside from that and some grogginess on the part of the groom and I, everything went beautifully. All things considered, it was a nice wedding, though I was in and out of consciousness for a good chunk of it.

Lindsay and Devon left the next morning. We spent the day in Leavenworth, wandering around and mailing our excess baggage (Again, ridiculously nice folks...) and left on the train that night.

I'd never ridden on a train before and it was a LOT of fun. Roomy, novel, comfy, if it had been light outside so that I could see the world beyond the glass, it would have been immensely enjoyable! Hooray for Amtrac!

The rest of the trip home was uneventful, though I became increasingly uncomfortable as  the agony in my arm asserted itself. Over the following week, I started suffering from claustrophobia and weird pains, as well as the unsettling feeling of bones shifting around in my flesh. It's healing well now, and they hope to avoid surgery.

While our inaugural trip out was not the best intro to the city, I did really enjoy Leavenworth. It's touristy and crowded but never feels like it, it somehow keeps the quaint Bavarian village feel throughout. I have to give huge thank yous to the ladies at the Australian Store, Corey and Lisa and the rest of Brooke's family, the conductor n the train that sorted our rates out, Aunt Jo and Rich for getting us home, and the lovely women in my life, my wife and Brooke, who managed to not lose it when their men got banged up. Love you guys.

 

Speaking of which, here's my initial xray from the accident!

The Bone-Breaking Leavenworth Trip of 2009 Part III

The next morning was a nice one, slightly overcast but calm, everyone staggered to life and began showering and prepping for the wedding, which was planned for around one that afternoon.

Rob and I had a shopping list of things we needed to get in town, so we decided to all go in and eat breakfast at Sandy's Waffle haus and get it done bright and early. Rob had come over the night before wearing just his pajama pants, so he and I decided to dash across the road and grab his jeans while our brothers finished getting ready.

As we pulled out of the driveway, I looked both ways. There was a truck coming, but it was quite a ways down the road. I said something inconsequential to Rob and started across the road.

After that, I only remember impressions, little flashes for a while. Seeing the truck, far closer than before and moving fast. There was no horn, no squealing brakes. Being shaken in the car, rattled like dice. The airbags deploying in an instant, buffeting us. Strontium punched by the pickup, just ahead of my driver's side door, pushing us sideways and forward, the bumper wrapping itself around a pine tree 50 feet from where we were hit.

Rob was out of the car almost immediately, staggering around. I remember trying to move my right arm away from my side, reach for him. The muscle moved and I could feel something grinding in my upper arm but my forearm stayed perfectly still. I couldn't see anything, my glasses were up on the dash and everywhere else was obscured by the deflated airbags. Everything felt okay, but I felt shaken up, disoriented and dizzy. Someone, the man driving the truck popped his head in to check on us, running around frantically. Turns out he was an emt, local. I later learned that he'd bounced off of us, wrapping his truck violently around a different tree, but he was fine. Rob was still wandering outside, passerbys attempting to help him. I heard Lindsay's voice, full of fear and dread. I tried to call for her, but could only scratch any noise.

A legit EMT arrived, joined me in the passenger seat, talked to me as things started to coalesce. I asked him for my glasses and he slid them carefully onto my face, the plastic frames miraculously un-scratched. I still couldn't move my arm and like a flood, pain started up, running up and down my arm, seeping into my shoulder and back. I tried not to scream, grunting in agony. The EMT carefully lifted my arm, I could feel the bones in my upper arm sag, scraping and grinding. I explained to him where it hurt, but I was either unclear or he misunderstood me, carefully splinting the forearm instead. I grabbed the splinted arm and pulled it close, straightening the upper arm, alleviating some of the pain. Lindsay was outside the front window, her eyes tearing up. I smiled at her and stuck my tongue out at her, let her know I was okay. They sliced off my leather jacket and glove, the cold air shocking against my skin.

They took Rob away in an ambulance, the sirens sounding muffled in the car. I was trapped, the driver's side door too smashed to even attempt to open, so they summoned the jaws of life. They covered me in a blanket, protecting me from any glass as the machine angerly tore pieces of my car apart. Things went blurry again as they moved me, an odd sort of shaky unreality as the trees rattled overhead as the poor EMTs carried me to the ambulance.

The whole time, I held my arm, my hand slick with sweat trying desperately not to lose my grip, striving to keep my shattered and unsplinted arm from falling to my side. They drugged me, things faded in and out and I caught snippets of conversation, they were taking me to Wenatchee because Leavenworth couldn't handle me, the EMT talking reassuringly to me and Lindsay, that odd, motion camera feeling of being rolled through a hospital, not able to see anything but lights, faces and equipment occasionally looming overhead.

After that, things got a bit clearer. A lot of time was spent in the ER, dozing, answering a few questions, trying to explain to the nurse why they'd cast my lower arm and not the bone that was broken, I was x-rayed, cat-scanned, poked and prodded. Everyone there was extremely friendly, professional and smart. I had my arm splinted, a very, very painful thing, after a while, the nurse and I walked the halls, I was painfully aware of my bare love handles peeking from below the splint, then I was glad that my bare love handles were the greatest of my problems, it could have been much worse.

In the end, I'd badly bruised or fractured a few ribs, I had a passel of random bruises and my right Humerus bone was shattered, broken cleanly in at least five places. (The nature of my injury and the way I was strapped to board made it hard to be certain) Other than that, I was stiff and still pretty freaked out, but alive.

We called someone to come get us from Wenatchee, stopping in at a Walgreens there, where we dealt with an extremely rude RX Tech, picking up some pills and some random food, then headed back to Leavenworth. We stopped in at the hospital to see Rob, who had a gnarly black eye and 3 broken ribs. The accident had also aggravated some arthritis on his spine from a previous injury. He was pretty out of it, expressing the hope that I felt better than him, which I'm fairly certain I did not, but I was at least more cogent than he was. We all headed back to the lodge after that, where I sat carefully and let the percoset do it's thing.

My brother grilled ribs for dinner, a sly dig at our broken bodies and finally, I drifted to sleep in the bed, the disastrous day over, but the trip/ordeal far from finished...