The Horror! A Halloween Mega Review Post!

Reviews Of Unusual Size


Movies

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS
Directed by Adam Gierasch
2009, 93 mins, Rated R
 

Re: A group of rowdy college-ish aged kids throw a party at an old Loisiana mansion. When the cops roust 'em, a select seven, mostly played by people in their late thirties of questionable acting ability, manage to get locked in. They play spin the bottle, get it on and get possessed. Crappy monster effects and gore ensues.

Outstanding:I really liked Monica Keena in some other stuff. The intro, filmed poorly in a 1920's style was at least a good idea...

Unacceptable: Everything. I don't even know where to begin with how bad everything was in this flick. 

Summary: Bad in a way that only a movie made in the aughts, featuring hard rock, computer generated gore and c-list actors can be. Barely worth finishing. And I'm not even sure why I say that.

1/5     

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET

Directed by Samuel Bayer
2010, 95 mins, Rated R

 

Re: A remake/reimagining/encapsulation/renovation/modern take on the original. If you don't know the plot, well... I'll probably post a non-Halloween post on Thursday.

Outstanding:I really like Jackie Earl Haley, and I think a few things they did with the story were unique.

Unacceptable: Everyone else was generic and forgettable. There were a few scenes that  has abysmal special effects. Pretty sad for a film with $35mil to play with.

Summary: Granted, I've never really like Freddy. His style of dream antics and goofy deaths has always seemed silly to me. Silly but enjoyable. This movie managed to remove both of those things. Hmm.

1/5   



 

 LEGION

Directed by Scott Charles Stuart
2010, 100 mins, Rated R

 

Re: God has gotten tired of us, so he decides to unleash heaven on us. Kill 'em all and let himself sort it out, I guess. But for some reason, he gave us one last chance, in the form of a pregnant girl, working in a roadside truck stop. Oh, and Paul Bettany is an angel that wants to help out. He has lots of guns.

Outstanding:This movie knows it's goofy and dumb, but it also knows how to have fun with that. There are a few well done scenes and Doug Jones as an angel-possessed Ice cream man. That's pretty cool.

Unacceptable: Y'know, maybe it was my mood when I watched this, but despite its shortcomings, there wasn't really anything I hated.

Summary: It's not gonna win any awards, but if you're looking for a flick where grannies walk on ceilings and angels pack glocks, check it out. It's kinda amusingly diverting.

2/5   

RESIDENT EVIL - AFTERMATH

Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
2010, 97 mins, Rated R

 

Re: BANGBANGBANG. Weird four mouthed zombie things! Convenient reunions! BANGBANG! Big goofy zombie thing! BANGBANGbangBANGduckBANG! mumble, swim, BANG! Matrix guy. BANGGITYBANGBANG! Goofy non-ending!

Outstanding: Is that Tig, from Sons Of Anarchy?

Unacceptable: Is that Milla, staying clothed for the entire movie, despite a perfectly good, badly written, shower scene?

Summary: BANGBANGBADBANGBANG!

1/5  



Books

THE STRAIN
by Guillermo Del Toro & Chuck Hogan
2009, 608 pages, ebook
 

Re: Del Toro and Hogan spin a new take on vampires, one that's both modern - steeped in the paranoia of today and classic - inspired by legends from the past. In their world, vampires are a virus, infecting us. Turning us into pale, sexless, evil drones with stingers and white, worm infested bodies. 

Outstanding:I still love this take on the vampire legend. The characters are well-rounded and excellent. You really feel for them, you want to know what happens to them. And the vamps are everything a vampire should be, violent, evil, nasty and infectiously awesome.

Unacceptable: Despite how much I love this book, it suffered a little bit the second time around. A few sub-plots seemed less important and a little long, but overall still a very enjoyable read.

Summary: When I first reviewed this book, back in 2009, I gave the book 5/5 and said it was probably one of the best of the year. I wouldn't go that far this time, though it's still easily a 5/5 book. I just didn't find myself devouring it as eagerly as I had before.

5/5     

THE FALL
By Guillermo Del Toro & Chuck Hogan 
2010, 320 pages, ebook
 

Re: The sequel to THE STRAIN and book two in a planned trilogy. Setrakian, Goodweather and crew continue their valiant battle against the vampires and the nation of misinformation that claims the plague of neck suckers is merely a plague of a conventional sort. And the Master ramps up his plans to subjugate the world.

Outstanding:Del Toro and Hogan really know how to write a story. Everyone stays intriguing and fun to read and the action is cranked to eleven within the first few pages. I really like the track they took with the Ancients, a breed of old school vamps, the originators of the virus. Luchadore!

Unacceptable: There's a lot of stuff going on here, and some of it is far more impressive than others. There's a couple of sub plots that may pay off in the long run, but seem like they're unnecessary here. There's also a spot in the book where I would have sworn a man's arm is broken, yet he uses it with no difficulty a chapter or so later.

Summary: Not as strong as the first novel, but still a well written one. I'm pretty excited to see what happens in the final book... In a year or so.

4/5     

BAD MOON RISING
by Jonathan Maberry
2008, 480 pages, ebook
 

Re: It all ends here. Maberry's excellent Pine Deep Trilogy concludes with an all-out explosion of chaos as the evil massing in the cellars and fields of the tiny town take to the streets of the Pine Deep Halloween festival. With plans to feast.

Outstanding:I love Maberry's writing. He infuses things with an easy sense of humor and his dialogue is as natural as listening to a couple of buddies talk. He also knows whats scary and nasty and revels in dosing it out.

Unacceptable: The pop culture references wore a little thin for me, with entire chapters dedicated to the efforts of the real-life  horror dignitaries at the festival. It was fun for a while, but I think it went just a wee bit over the top. 

Summary: Overall a very excellent book. High on drama and action. It's not easy writing a trilogy like this, I would imagine. His mythology is deep and twisty and he balances dozens of fairly important characters without us ever once getting confused or lost, only hungry for the next pages. I loved my visit to Pine Deep. You should plan a trip, but book ahead if you plan on visiting around Halloween. Things get pretty busy that time of year.

5/5     

THE RISING
by Brian Keene
2004, 336 pages, ebook
 

Re: Zombies rule the earth. For every man, woman, child or animal that dies, they come back. Walking, eating and yes... the bane of zombie novels for me, talking. In Keene's universe, when something dies, something else takes over that body. A Sumatran spouting demon that remembers what the previous inhabitant knew and wants nothing more than to continue porting their brothers over. Oh yeah, and a guy tries to travel cross country to save his kid that is supposedly still alive in an attic.

Outstanding:As much as I despise talking zombies, I was entertained by these guys. They're possessed, drive around like something out of Mad Max and know how to use your loved one's feelings against you. Kind of original.

Unacceptable: Man, the living in this book bored me to death. Every one was a stereotype of the highest order, and while that's almost a requirement in a zombie book, these guys were all really bad. There was the selfless Priest, the hardcore ex-hooker, the stalwart and determined single father, the scientist carrying a load of guilt for starting the whole thing and the military asshole. 

Summary: Despite my annoyances with the main characters, I had a good time reading THE RISING. It's a traditional zombie road trip book with some unexpected twists along the way.

3/5

     
 

Weighty Matters - 
My Current Weight -  296
Progress Thus Far -  A couple pounds. But on the plus side, we finally got some healthy snacks for me to take to work, so that should help.  

Draculas!

Now Playing -
The Big Fish by Danny Elfman

LIFE - 

We went "Leaf Peeping" to the North of Augusta yesterday. There's not much better than wandering around a cemetery in perfect autumn weather with your loved one. Not in my book, anyway. Beautiful! I will also have a new sculpture available on Deeply Dapper tonight, the first in my line of "Trapped Tikis" Check it out!

Tomorrow, I'm heading to Belfast for a week to help open a new store. I plan to have some downtime to update the blog and do some writing, but we'll see. Sometimes these trips get more involved than others.

Reviews Of Unusual Size  

Books



DRACULAS
by J.A. Konrath (as Jack Kilborn), Blake Crouch, F. Paul Wilson & Jeff Strand 
Release Date - October 19th, 2010, 389 pages, e-book Advance Copy
 

Re: This is an interesting book. Brainstormed by J.A. Konrath (writing under his Horror alter-ego, Jack Kilborn) and written tag team style by four generally well-respected horror and thriller authors, Draculas is a down and dirty re-imagining of the vampire legend. Ditching fancy cloaks and sparkling skin, these guys are nasty. They reproduce and hunger for flesh like fast moving zombies and if they escape the hospital where the initial outbreak occurs, God help the world. And all that stands between them and the world at large is a down on her luck hospice nurse, a lumberjack with a chainsaw sharper than he is and a gun-crazy deputy. 

Outstanding: Draculas is a ridiculously fun book to read. The writers styles mesh well, to the point that I had a hard time breaking down who did what, and the story is pure Video Nasty. In my book, that's a Very Good Thing. The "Draculas" as they are dubbed, are vicious, ugly creepy and cool as hell. I dig their take on the creatures, which is both original and old-school. The main characters are pretty stereotypical, but in this type of story, that's a strength. I don't want my big lumbering brute of a man to read Kierkegaard and moan about his feelings. I want him to break out a monster's teeth with the blade of a chainsaw while his ass flaps around in a hospital gown. (The ass part is purely optional, mind you.)

Unacceptable: There wasn't much I didn't like about this book. It's not for everyone - there's a lot of gore and violence, almost constant peril in fact, and some of it is ridiculously over the top. It's also a little short,  only taking up about 2/3 of the file's 389 pages, but the remainder is filled with some great DVD-style extras. I also had a problem with the advance copy of it on my nook. It had unusually slow page turns, sometimes as much as 5-7 seconds between each. 

Summary: Go back and read the first couple of lines about what was "Unacceptable" in this book. If that sounds more like a recommendation than a problem, then you should immediately GO HERE and order Draculas. It's crazy and filled with death in the best possible way. It is a little short, but the extras at the end, around 100 pages of interviews, previews of other books and short stories push the $2.99 price tag from being a good deal to being a steal. 

5/5     

 

Weighty Matters - 

My Current Weight - 296
 
Progress Thus Far -   

I've lost a couple of pounds, but that doesn't seem too significant... since I can do that taking off my shoes..We went out and bought some healthy snacks too, which should help. If I can avoid Halloween candy for a month and Christmas candy for the two after that....

Writing - 

Not too bad. I've passed the 72,000 word mark, and have started to discuss e-publishing options with my wife. She has a few books earmarked for that market as well. I'd like to get this completed, edited and available for sale by Christmas. 

 

The Last Sentence - 
My grip tightens on the sledge and a smile seeps unbidden to my face. 

From - "Graves" (WIP)

156 Years Of Something

Now Playing -
Ka Huila Wai
by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

Life - 

Moo.

 

Yesterday, Lindsay and I attended the  156th annual Topsham Fair. Growing up, going to the fair was always a kind of bittersweet event for me. It was fun, I loved the carnival rides and the exotic foods and the animals, but it also meant that summer was almost over. That another break had passed with a few camping trips as the highlight of my adventures. Not that I hated the summers I had growing up, they were very memorable and frankly, the stuff 1950's sitcoms were made of, but I'd always secretly hoped that this summer would be the one when mom wouldn't have to work and we could go on a real vacation, to England, or Alaska, somewhere more exotic than Salt Lake City, Utah.

That never panned out, but really, the fair we went to kind of made up for it. It was, and continues to be, The Eastern Idaho State Fair, and folks in Idaho know how to do up a fair properly, with dozens of proper carnival rides, carnies hawking balloon games and ball tosses, all built up at the end like a glittering, loud party. Just past that, was a collection of buildings, filled with exhibitions of photography, ancient bottle collections, quilts, artwork and more. Most of these bored me to tears as a kid, but when I reached adulthood, I found myself enjoying them more and more. Then it was the food booths. Everything you could think of - Mexican, BBQ, Chinese, Japanese, Southwest, Tex-Mex, Irish, Thai, Fried, Sauteed, Grilled, Slow Roasted... I tasted food at the fair that I'd never seen before or since. Then the animals and farm exhibits. Hundreds of livestock and booths extolling the very newest in farm tools and machines. And every night, there were events in the huge stadium/racetrack. Depending on the night,m you could find yourself watching monster trucks and real bands. For instance, this year they have Foreigner for their rock band and Kenny Rogers on the country night. We never really attended the events, but it was kind of cool. It was one of the rare times that legit names showed in an area like Eastern Idaho.

The main strip. Note how each booth sells one type of food.

So it was with a mix of goofy excitement and interest that we decided to go to the Topsham Fair yesterday. Now, don't get me wrong, I know normal fairs aren't as extensive as the State Fair was in Idaho, even the Pocatello Fair was unimpressive out there, but I was excited to see what a fair out here was like, and they do advertise it a lot, There's been a banner up about the 2010 Fair since we arrived in Topsham. If nothing else, we figured, it would be an entertaining evening of people watching, well worth our $7 per person admission.

Shabby, shabby, shabby.

Well, it was probably worth our $14 in giggles, but I was shocked at how, like many other things out here, there's so much room for improvement, but no one seems to care. Like, once you've been around for 156 years, you don't really need to try anymore. Sure, they had all of the requisite exhibits. They had a few carnival rides, a few booths with impossible games, food wagons and a perfunctory attempt to display some livestock and tractors, but it was all so half-hearted feeling. Yet people were there in droves. It was around 4pm on a Thursday evening when we attended, and though the crowds weren't overwhelming, there was a good group of people in every little corner of the place.

These sausages were nowhere near as hot and delicious as they looked.

For one thing, the fair was really poorly laid out. Most fairs you attend, everything is laid out in a pretty uniform fashion. The rides are in one section, the livestock in another and so forth. Here, food wagons jockeyed for position with ferris wheels and you could get heckled by the clown in the ball toss while trying to eat your fried dough. At first glance, there seemed to be a lot of food choices, too, but the more wandered around, the more we realized that for the most part, each wagon served one specific food, like one wagon for sausages, one for fish and chips and one for fried dough. Each one sold a few beverages and maybe some cotton candy on the side, but to get a meal, you had to make multiple trips and stand in five or six lines. And apart from the different wagons, there wasn't actually any variety. There were five separate wagons that sold nothing but fried dough. And not with any changes, either.

To be fair, the White Pants were more bloomers than pants. WHITE PANTS! WHOO!

Their exhibits were horrible too. Usually, the places the awards are displayed are dedicated buildings, the Photos in one room, etc... Here, all of them were crammed together in one building that also housed a model railroad and a food counter. So the artwork was hung crookedly next to 4x6 photos in dollar frames above rotting blue ribbon vegetables.

That's right, in the year of my birth, Dinosaurs were the featured article, with Aluminum being only slightly less important.

I realize that someone reading this post would assume that we hated all of this. I didn't. I get a kick out of ludicrous stuff like this. How the "Museum" housed a few artifacts, a couple of banners from previous fairs, a selection of National Geographics with a sign that said "Find your birth year and month - $3.00" and a bunch of kids in the corner playing Rock Band on the Playstation. Heck, if I hadn't already paid an entry fee, I would have paid to see the guy that looked like Kyle Gass from Tenacious D holding a Boa. It just bothers me when a few simple changes would have made the experience many times better but it seems like it isn't done out of laziness or complacency.

I genuinely cannot fathom what could bump a paper plate with 5 AC/DC cards on it down to second place.

So we spent about an hour and a half wandering in a circle. In fact, we made several laps of the fair, trying to find the wagon serving fried dough that didn't have them pre-cooked and sitting under heat lamps. We got heckled by carnies and bought a sausage that looked much better than it tasted. We watched a blacksmith in a college basketball t-shirt and Lindsay petted a cow, but after a while, we realized that unless we wanted to pay $8 to ride the ferris wheel, or throw our money away on stupid games of chance for stuffed toys we didn't need or want, it was time to go home. Although I did just realize how fun it would be to give a 3' tall care bear to the boys to destroy.

Reviews Of Unusual Size

  THE DEPUTY
by Victor Gischler
2010, 250 pages, paperback

1 -Don't get me wrong, I've dug Gischler's last couple of books, humorous fantasy/sci-fi novels about vampires and the apocalypse, but when I heard he was releasing a new crime novel about a slacker, part time deputy that gets into the middle of something far over his skills set, I was very excited.

2 - And with good reason. Gischler writes conscience free bad guys and real people in rough situations better than anyone around. In fact, I think it's a safe bet that Victor Gischler is the best crime novelist  alive today.

3 - His characters are dirty and stupid and mean, and generally perfectly human. There's no supernatural feats of daring or Batman-like fighting skills. Life is unfair in a Gischler novel, and I love it.

4 - The only thing that should stop you from rushing out and buying this today is that you can't read. Even if you can't, this is a real book, out of real paper, and I imagine it would balance out that TV you have stacked on top of your other TV quite nicely.

5 - Let's face it, even if I didn't already love Gischler, I would have bought this book based solely off of the blurb on the cover - From the author of GO-GO GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE. Though I am a bit perplexed by the one from Publisher's weekly, which is worded like this on the cover - "[S]olid noir from Gischler" Does that mean that Publisher's Weekly left off the S in Solid? How odd.

10/10

TRAPPED
by Jack Kilborn

2009, 245 pages, ebook

1 - This is the second novel by Jack Kilborn, the pseudonym used by author J.A. Konrath, author of the Jack Daniels series and this blog, which is a huge reason that I've come around to the idea of digital books. This review is also of only the first half of the file, the Revised novel, Trapped. I will review the second half at a later date.

2 -Essentially, a tale of survival, horror and cannibals, Trapped was deemed too graphic and hardcore for his publisher, so Kilborn did what he does best, released it in digital form himself for a good price, and sold the crap out of it.

3 - I was turned to Kilborn by my 12 year old nephew. I later realized that it was a pen name of an author I already loved, but when you have a kid ask you to read the only book he's ever finished, you check it out. And then you realize that the novel is totally inappropriate for a twelve year old.

4 - Trapped is a video nasty in book form, with graphic violence, mutants, genetically engineered killers, bad street slang, kids in jeopardy and bad government. It's one of those things that you have to be in the mood for, but man, is it perfect for when you are. If you aren't, you feel dirty afterwards, so be warned. It's a good book, but not for everyone. Especially if you don't relish the description of an eyeball bursting after a careful application of heat over a barbecue. While the person is still alive.

5 - Why do I love Konrath so much? Because Joe understands that digital books are the future, whether I like it or not. Besides having the brilliant idea for publishers to include a free download of the digital book with hardback purchases, an Idea that should be happening NOW, Joe realizes that digital books are like the DVD to VHS, and includes all sorts of extras in the file. Trapped not only includes the updated, revised version of the story, but at the end, there's a few decent length previews for other books and his original version of the book. The one that his publishers  made him go back and tame down. That's right, lurking at the back of the file is a second, full length novel even crazier than the one before. I assume. I'm saving that version for a later date. Maybe date is a bad word choice. Because that would be a horribly messed up date.

6/10

Writing - 

This afternoon, I should break  70,000 words on Graves! This is a big deal for me, I've never written a novel this long before, The Whispering Ferns was a children's novel and topped out at 49,000, and this is especially exciting because I have plans for this book. I'm going to actually start working on a query letter for an adult novel, query agents and a few select houses and then, if all else fails, I think this story has the potential to be successful as an e-book, so if I can't find an agent, I plan to make an attempt at publishing it myself.

The Last Sentence - 
"But you do have to say one thing about him. That zombie had awesome comedic timing."

From - "Graves" (WIP)

The Gloom, I Has It

Now Playing -
Where Do We Go Now But Nowhere
by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
 

Life - 

Ahh, days off, why do you have to end? For the last few weeks, we've been fortunate enough for our days off to fall on the same two days. It's been really nice. We've built a porch, made some fun little trips, worked in the house a bit. In the next few, that'll change a little, my boss is going out of town, so my schedule will be all over the place. That's why we decided to hit Portland and the beach this "weekend" (Which is Thursday and Friday for us) We had some shopping to do and we wanted to find a few items to decorate our porch with.

On that front, we weren't especially successful. The mall was a bust, Michael's Crafts and The Christmas Tree Shops had a few things, but nothing in our price range. Though the Christmas Tree Shop DID have Stubbs Barbecue Sauce, which is my favorite and impossible to find out here. (I bought a barbecue recipe book too for $4) Eventually, we decided to give up on the decoration quest, and headed down the road to Old Orchard Beach. I was intrigued to visit it again, as last time we went it was pre-season and very rainy and cold. I thought it might be fun to see it in full swing.

Along the way, we stopped at the skeeviest flea market ever. Every single tent was filled with items that looked like they'd fallen off a truck in 1992 and had been sitting in these tents on sagging card tables ever since. Stuff like Micro Machine coloring books and impractically designed knives. VHS tapes and badly faded "Harley Davidson Parking Only" signs. We wandered into the bazaar until we started to fear ever making it back to the car safely and then fled.

 Naturally, because I wanted to see OOB in full swing, it was gloomy and windy when we arrived. Which just made the air humid and muggy, somehow. But there were still quite a few people sacked out in the sand and wandering the boardwalk.

 I was surprised, though I shouldn't have been, at the variety of tourists. It's clear that the beach gets about half of the business from the South, New Hampshire and New York, even as far down as Florida, and the other half travels down from Canada - there were a lot of signs in French as well as English. I guess it's a good middle ground for them , though, to be frank, I liked it far less than Oregon and would likely not drive hours to get here.

The boardwalk and shops were mildly diverting however, though most of them sold things we weren't interested in. Clothing, henna tattoos and the like. We wandered around the carnival for a bit and had some crappy fries, then some excellent fries, and split a piece of decent pizza.

 There were a lot of people out, though most of my pictures seem to make the streets look kind of empty, and we had to shuffle through crowds of largely heavyset and sweating people, most of them holding french fries, ice cream, slabs of pizza or circles of dough.

Which was probably my favorite part of the day, the treat they call "Fried Dough" it was hot and decadent, swimming in honey butter and powdered sugar, with just a hint of cinnamon. The name bothers me though, it's like no one out here understands the importance of showmanship or something. Back home, these beasts would have been called Tiger's Ears, or Honey Butter Scones, or Elephant Ears. (Apparently, people in Idaho associate slabs of dough with animal ears, for some reason...) And if I owned a shack on the beach selling these, I would immediately call them something like Sand Dollars or Dough Clams, even Beach Blankets would be a better name than Fried Dough. Boring! But tasty!

After wandering for a bit more, we headed home, stopping off at a tiny toy store and an ice cream stand on route one. Yesterday, we went out for lunch, violating my previously stated "Not leaving the house except in case of zombie apocalypse, but it was worth it for some excellent fish and chips at O'Sheas. There's also a great shop next to the restaurant called the Nest, which sells all manner of nice home decor, where we got a few ideas for the house. We also made a quick stop at the Goodwill for some pillows and the craft store for some fabric to cover the pillows with. 

Then I read an entire James Patterson book and made dinner.

 Oh yeah, and the title to my blog? A result of watching this commercial WAY too many times -

 

Reviews Of Unusual Size - 
5 Things About...

THE BEACH HOUSE
by James Patterson & Peter DeJonge
2003, 384 pages, ebook

1 - A stand alone novel about a law student who gets caught up in the death of his brother, corruption, rich jerks and more death!

2 - I didn't enjoy this novel as much as Beach Road, another collaboration between the two authors, but it was pleasantly diverting, with some interesting twists.

3 - I read this in one sitting. Patterson's way of writing his thrillers makes the books seem a lot shorter than they really are. Which is why I read them as a brief escape so often.

4 - Most of the characters seemed kind of stereotypical and more wooden than I would have expected, especially the main character's friends, but I did get a kick out of the grandfather, a outspoken Irish coot.

5 - The Beach House actually has very little to do with Beach Houses, but I bet it sells itself as a summer read very nicely!

7/10

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO
by Stieg Larsson
2009, 600 pages, ebook

1 - This book has been so heavily hyped. I've heard it called everything from "The Best Book You'll Ever Read" to, inexplicably, "The Biggest Thing Since Harry Potter!" which is odd, because the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo has very little to do with boy wizards, or young readers, for that matter. Apparently, from now on, any book that gets a bit of popularity will be compared to Harry Potter or Twilight.

2 -It does have to do with a mystery surrounding a missing girl, a rich, screwed up family, a disgraced reporter and a screwy investigator. It's like if James Patterson and VC Andrews had a love child that was raised by Michael Connelly in Sweden.

3 - Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the book - it's a plump, tangled thriller, but as usual, I think the hype both set me up for disappointment and got my hopes up to high. I kind of wish they'd stuck with the original title, Men who hate women. I think it would have kept it under the radar more and I could have enjoyed it at what it was, a mystery about a missing girl.

4 - My least favorite character was the wunderkind favorite of the critics, the investigator, Lisbeth. I think she was set up with an appealing set of quirks and she certainly had reasons for her odd detachment with the world, but I think her persistence in acting mentally challenged just made her seem goofy. She could have been standoffish and lacking in social skills and still been appealing but instead, I kept getting annoyed.

5 - The big reveal and spoiler in the middle of the book surprised me, it was the logical ending to the book, the fact that it continued with the other plot for another hundred pages or so was kind of odd. It worked fine for  the novel, but now I want to see the movie and how they let it play out there. If I had been in charge of the script, I'd find myself making the two storylines converge a lot closer together.

6/10

DEAD MAN'S SONG

by Jonathan Maberry

2007, 480 pages, ebook

1 - The second book in the Pine Deep series takes us deeper into the evil that permeates the ground of the tiny Pennsylvania town, and expands on the battle between light and dark.

2 - I got a kick out of the first Pine Deep book, Ghost Road Blues, but this installment was better. Better pacing, better twists, and Maberry is really ramping up to something big in the third installment.

3 - Which was my main complaint about the book, it reads like a second of three books. There's a good amount of catch up in the beginning and the end can barely be called that, it's more of a back cover inserted between chapters. And I can't wait to read the next one, which is already downloaded to my nook and waiting for me, thank goodness. 

4 - If Jonathan Maberry was as big as Stephen King, and I think he could be better than King in many respects, he could have released this as one volume. A massive, wicked epic.

5 - Dead Man's Road takes some conventional horror tropes and sneaks them in when you least expect it. Even when I knew something was coming, he manages to keep it entertaining and fresh.

8/10

Writing - 

I worked a while on my zombie novel the last couple of days, but it's hard to get in the head of people hiding in a drug store in Montana in the middle of October, surrounded by zombies, when you're sitting on a porch in Maine surrounded by hummingbirds and crickets in the middle of August.

The Last Sentence -

 I've got a pretty good chunk of company around the front that's noticed my buddy here.

From - "Graves" (WIP)

Not Bugged

Now Playing -
Crickets in the forest behind my house

Life -

One of these times, I'm going to get to spend my days off doing absolutely nothing and going nowhere. But for now, I'll have to be content spending it creating a nice little oasis for us to spend the evenings.

A

A dragonfly on the inside of the screen

We finally finished the painting on our back porch last night (sort of. We actually have to buy another gallon of white at some point to finish the roof, but that can wait) and this afternoon, I braved the sun and evil ants that live in our bushes to screen it in. I'm really happy with the colors my wife chose. At first, I was kind of hesitant to go with the yellow, but it really does make the porch seem sunny and pleasant.

Our New Porch!

There's still a bit of work to be done, but we pulled out some chairs this evening and as I type this, we're sitting comfortably, a slight breeze stirring the trees, crickets chirping, a hummingbird at the feeder and cinnamon scented Salt City candle flickering beside us. Pretty nice!

Pooka




Reviews Of Unusual Size
 Five Things About...

Books - 

 
GHOST ROAD BLUES
by Jonathan Maberry
2006, 480 pages, ebook
 

1 - I  thought that I'd first discovered Maberry with his zombie novel, Patient Zero, but upon reading this supernatural horror, I realized that I had actually checked out the second novel in the series a few years ago from the library, realized it was the second book, became disappointed and returned it, unread. 

2 - Which means I should have been on the Jonathan Maberry bandwagon from much earlier, and so should you. His novels have great characters and their stories are creepy and well thought out. He has a few other books, including some intriguing-looking non-fiction and a Young Adult zombie novel headed this way too.

3 - The small isolated town of Pine Deep has always been a haunted place. A fact celebrated and taken advantage of every October with haunted hayrides, rubber hands and goulish guest stars. But when a killer arrives in the midst of a rare black harvest, the townsfolk may have their hands full with real horrors. Ones darkly reminiscent of a terrible October thirty years ago...

4 - Sometimes I'm in the mood for a fun, gory, supernatural horror novel and especially with the doses of humor and pop culture references sprinkled through it, Ghost Road Blues hit the spot.

5 - But be warned, this is the first book in the trilogy, and if you don't have book two queued up and ready to dive into, you might be a little haunted yourself until you can track a copy down!

8/10

ALONG CAME A SPIDER
by James Patterson
 1993, 494 pages, ebook

1 - I think this is James Patterson's first novel. I do know that I've seen it with six different covers, watched the movie based off of it, and been amazed at the dozens of books that Patterson has followed it with.

2 - A tightly written, if a bit predictable detective thriller about a high profile kidnapping that begins to overlap with other cases from the past.

3 - Introduces Detective Cross, a tall, handsome, African-American, Psychiatrist Detective. He also loves his kids and his momma, and has a similarly tall, handsome, muscular, wise cracking, African-American partner.Despite the slight cliche overload and the fact that they don't seem as fully developed in this first novel, Patterson has created a great duo.

4 - The villain didn't really do much for me, but the plan and some of the twists were nice.

5 - James Patterson is writing a novel with the Always Stupendous Marshall Karp now, I believe it'll be out in 2011, so mark your calendars. That book is going to be very, very entertaining.

7/10


 

Writing - 

More progress, though it's slow going. I'm at nearly 65,000 words now on my zombie novel!

The Last Sentence - 

I thought campers had toilets!

From - " Graves " (WIP)

Road Trip

Now Playing -

Nothin' But A Good Time
by Poison

Life - 

My wife and I both have the day off tomorrow, for the first time in a bit, so we've decided to take a road trip! They're building a new store to the North in Belfast, so I figured we should head up there and check out the area. Not that I have any delusions of getting the store as a manager, but I like to keep up to date with the new stores and it's a good excuse for us to head up there. We've heard we'll like the Northern parts of Maine, they're supposed to be more rural and small-town, with a rougher, laid back feel. Sounds good to me! 

We plan to take the boys with us, they need a good stroll around a new town too. We'll leave Orbie to take care of the cats. I plan to take a good pile of pictures, and I'll see you upon the return!

Reviews Of Unusual Size - 

Books - 

Five Things About....

UNDER THE DOME

by Stephen King

2009, 1074pages, E-Book

 1 - This is the fifth book by Stephen King that I've read, and probably my least favorite. It was still enjoyable, but there were times when I wished he was a new writer again, and had to pare things down to their most important elements to get an agent's attention. I think it would make his books a lot stronger.

2 - As you can tell from the title and knowing King, this novel is about a small Maine town that gets trapped under a mysterious dome and the chaotic, interpersonal events that result.

3 - King does some nice stuff here. Some of the characters are strong and likable, some are perfectly villainous, and there are some fun twists and directions he takes with the story.

4 - All the same, there's that little something that has bothered me about previous King books, and I'm not even sure how to define it. Kind of a... Okay, he's a good guy, and those are clearly very bad guys, so something horrible is gonna happen... get it over with already! kind of thing.

5 - As much as I want to love his books, Stephen King has still always hung on that little nail between annoyance and the love of a great idea. I do know one thing - I love his monthly column in Entertainment Weekly.

6/10

 THE KILLING FLOOR

by Lee Child

1997, 544 pages, E-Book

1 - The first Jack Reacher Novel. This set the standard for all to follow. Short sentences. Tough guy. Pretty Girl. Right Place. Wrong Time. Copious use of the term Cloverleaf.

2 - It had been a while since I'd read a Reacher novel, so when I downloaded the newest, I figured I should re-read the first and refresh my memory. Not that it's neccesary, his novels are nicely stand alone for the most part.

3 - Upon reading this, I kept telling myself that I'd read it before, but none of it was familiar. I'm still not sure if I've just forgotten the entire plot or if I managed to miss the first in the series. Usually I'm pretty anal about that kind of thing.

4 - An interesting, tight plot, that manages to be a bit twisty and introduce Jack as a cool character. 

5 - I love the Reacher novels for being a modern heroic take on the classic crime novel. It's easy to picture Reacher in an earlier time, wearing a fedora and knocking over a payroll truck.

8/10

61 HOURS

by Lee Child

 2010, 400 pages, E-Book

1 - Lee Child's most recent Reacher novel, the 14th, finds Reacher trapped in a small South Dakota town. Snowbound, and because, frankly, it's all Reacher knows how to do to pass the time, he gets involved with a little problem the police are having. And the bodies start piling up.

2 - Read directly after the first book in the series, I have admire the way Child keeps Reacher the same man. Taciturn and tough, but ages him just a bit. 

3 - Great supporting characters this time around. A lot of  his earlier books left me feeling like the people surrounding Reacher were a little weak, but I really liked some of the people in this. The villain in particular would have felt at home in a Bond adventure.

4 - Though I guessed a major point early in, the story was really good. I loved the little town feel of things, and how Child made the novel feel very isolated and cut off from the world. There were a few over the top things, but for the most part, a strong entry in the Reacher series.

5 - Who decided to release a novel about being trapped in a South Dakota town during a fierce winter storm in the middle of summer? Child does a truly excellent job making you feel the harsh, bitter cold of the storm and I think I would have enjoyed it all the more if I was curled up with some hot cocoa and a blanket with the flakes falling outside, rather than 80 degree weather.

9/10

 

Catching Up On My Writing About Reading

REVIEWS OF UNUSUAL SIZE

A million books! Give or take. It's been far too long since I've updated my reading list and reviews on here. I'm not sure why. If I'd just write the dang review right after I read it, I wouldn't have such a daunting pile of books in front of me! Onward!

BOOKS

5 THINGS ABOUT...

TANNER'S TWELVE SWINGERS
by Lawrence Block
1999, 272 pages

1 -   The third book in the increasingly over-the-top Tanner series finds our sleepless hero travelling across the country, collecting an increasingly screwball collection of refugees.

2 -   I found myself getting annoyed with Tanner's character as this story progressed. At first, I loved the idea - a man that never sleeps and uses the extra 8 hours a day to learn languages, read books and champion lost causes but it seems to have changed to championing radical military groups from assorted countries, which I find much less appealing.

3 -   Tanner is still a great guy though and despite the escalating goofiness, I enjoyed the ride.

4 -   It should be interesting to see where the series goes with the next book.

5 -   Block initially resisted the title, preferring The Lettish Tomatoes, but I like the title quite a bit.

 6/10
_____________________

TROUBLE IN PARADISE

by Robert B. Parker

1998, 304 pages

1 -   Police Chief Jesse Stone has to protect his sleepy town from an elaborate and not very well planned out robbery scheme.

2 -   Jesse Stone remains a very appealing character. He has a distinct set of ethics and despite the self loathing is a good man. That kind of character is fun to read about, which would explain why there are over thirty Stone novels and a series of movies starring Tom Sellick.

3 -   Speaking of whom, Stone compares himself to the actor at one point, which made me wonder which came first, I would assume the movies.

4 -   The character of Crow is a good one. Nasty and mysterious, though you never really get a good feel for why he's so bad.

5 -   I felt this book ended far too abruptly, with everyone kind of just giving up, dying or escaping in a few pages.

6/10
_____________________

NOW & THEN

by Robert B. Parker

2007, 322 pages

1 -   This was the first Spenser novel I've read, though I used to watch the show regularly as a kid.

2 -   Spenser is just as cool in the books and Hawk is even cooler.

3 -  Spenser gets caught up in a simple infidelity investigation that turns complex, with spies, murder and government secrets.

4 -   Soon, Spenser has to call in his buddies to protect his lady. They were my personal favorite about the book. Loved them.

5 -   Robert B. Parker died recently and I've just started reading his work. There's a good reason he's so respected. His books are fun to read and have excellent characters.

 8/10
_____________________

BLACKMAILER

by George Axelrod

  1952, 202 pages

1 -   Old-School crime from the author of The Seven Year Itch.

2 -   Another extremely fine release from the good folks over at Hard Case Crime, with a gorgeous new Orbik cover and the retro-sweet touches that make me googly eyed.

3 -   Satiric, fun and nasty, a hapless book publisher has to unravel the secret behind a prestigious and previously unknown manuscript from a recently deceased Nobel Prize-winning author. But if it's unknown, why do so many people seem to know about it, and why do they all want him to print it?

4 -   Swishes hollywood starlets, thinly veiled homages to authors and personalities around in a tumbler to create a delightful little drink.

5 -   Did I mention how much I love Hard Case Crime? Look at that cover above, then go here to see the original. Back? Isn't this new cover a peach? I raise my glass to HCC for reprinting these gems and scattering them out for a modern audience. And making them look good.

8/10
_____________________

VOID MOON

by Michael Connelly

2000, 450 pages

1 -   A rarity for Connelly, a one-shot featuring a "villain" as the main protagonist.

2 -   Years ago, Cassie Black went to prison for her part in a casino robbery gone horribly wrong. Out on parole, she tries to leave her old life behind. Until she learns something that forces her to take a job back in Vegas, to the same casino where her beloved died all those years before

3 -   Standard Connelly, which is to say a quick read with original characters. I liked it, but I never got the feel of Vegas that I usually get from books like this.

4 -   A couple of silly parts in here too, and the villain was never as stone-cold as they made it sound on the cover. In fact, he seemed a bit bumbling.

5 -   My cover, featuring a white and black casino chip in an eclipse is much cooler than the cover online.

7/10
_____________________

PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS -

THE LIGHTNING THIEF

by Rick Riordan

2005, 375 pages

1 -   I wanted to not like this. But I did.

2 -   Percy Jackson is kind of the Middle Grade fiction that gets on my nerves. Modern feeling, with a sarcastic and snarky main character, a gimmick, and a huge following.

3 -   I read this because it's my nephew's favorite book and I promised him I would, if he would read the second one when I finished. He's read this installment six or seven times but hasn't read the second.

4 -   I was surprised at how likeable Percy ended up being, though his female friend is pretty forgettable to me. The idea, while gimmicky, is pretty well executed, too.

5 -   I love Riordan's previous adult novels, modern detective books. Check them out! (It's also possible that this is why I didn't want to like the Percy Jackson books, I like Rick's adult stuff too much to want him to stop writing them.)

 8/10
_____________________

DAY BY DAY ARMAGEDDON

by J.L. Bourne
 2009, 224 pages

1 -   Zombie mayhem written in diary form! Originally self published online, the book now has a proper release, a sequel and hollywood nosing around.

2 -   Too bad it's so dire.

3 -   The characters are thinly fleshed out, even the main character, who seems like a generic army boy. Stupid, well versed in gun terminology, conveniently able to fly a plane... Ugh. I'm really afraid that others will read the zombie novel I'm writing and say the same thing about it, but I got so annoyed with the main character here.

4 -   The zombies seemed to change their definitions slightly throughout the story, and not in the good way, more like the author forgot whether they could do something and just winged it.

5 -   All the same, it was a fast read and won't disappoint fans of the genre too much. I liked it enough to finish it on my computer when my version on the nook konked out 3/4 of the way through, I just really disliked the Hoo-Rah dumb jock main character.

6/10
_____________________

THE POSTMAN

by David Brin
 1997, 336 pages

1 -   When the world ends, a lone shyster finds a postman's uniform and mailbags and inadvertantly starts a revolution of civilization.

2 -   I dig the concept of this book, and Brin creates a very bleak but realistic world for the postman.

3 -   It starts out great, really strong, with one of my favorite post-apocalyptic worldviews and interesting people living in it.

4 -   Then it throws in genetic supermen, over the top war sequences, silly coincidences and an all too pat ending. Blast!

5 -   No Tom Petty.

7/10
_____________________

BLACK CHERRY BLUES

by James Lee Burke
 1990, 384 pages

1 -   I love Dave Robicheaux and the Louisianan world that Burke has created. Dave is a real person with a lot of little ticks and mannerisims that make him such a kick to read about.

2 -   To be honest, I don't actually remember what the story was in this novel... But I recall liking it. Something with a bad guy and fishing and... I can't remember.

3 -   (After checking....) Oh yeah! Robicheaux goes to Montana and stomps around Missoula a bit on the trail of a missing person. Which, by the way, I got the feeling that Burke actually visited Missoula for the novel. He manages to get the feel for the country along with details of the area spot on.

4 -   I always want a Dr. Pepper with fresh lime while I read these books.

5 -   The version of this book I read on my nook calls the town he visits "Poison, MT" I don't know if it was an intentional choice to use a fictional town, or if the computer program that converted this to a digital book misread the very real town of Polson, MT, which happens to exist roughly where he describes Poison in my text here...

9/10
_____________________

MONSTER PLANET

by David Wellington
2007, 320 pages

1 -   I liked the first one of these books.

2 -   Then the zombies started talking, gaining telepathic powers and other nonsense.

3 -   Then it got worse.

4 -   This book, the third, got even worse.

5 -   That's right, I'm criticizing a zombie book for being over the top and silly. A line must be drawn somewhere!

1/10