156 Years Of Something

Now Playing -
Ka Huila Wai
by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

Life - 

Moo.

 

Yesterday, Lindsay and I attended the  156th annual Topsham Fair. Growing up, going to the fair was always a kind of bittersweet event for me. It was fun, I loved the carnival rides and the exotic foods and the animals, but it also meant that summer was almost over. That another break had passed with a few camping trips as the highlight of my adventures. Not that I hated the summers I had growing up, they were very memorable and frankly, the stuff 1950's sitcoms were made of, but I'd always secretly hoped that this summer would be the one when mom wouldn't have to work and we could go on a real vacation, to England, or Alaska, somewhere more exotic than Salt Lake City, Utah.

That never panned out, but really, the fair we went to kind of made up for it. It was, and continues to be, The Eastern Idaho State Fair, and folks in Idaho know how to do up a fair properly, with dozens of proper carnival rides, carnies hawking balloon games and ball tosses, all built up at the end like a glittering, loud party. Just past that, was a collection of buildings, filled with exhibitions of photography, ancient bottle collections, quilts, artwork and more. Most of these bored me to tears as a kid, but when I reached adulthood, I found myself enjoying them more and more. Then it was the food booths. Everything you could think of - Mexican, BBQ, Chinese, Japanese, Southwest, Tex-Mex, Irish, Thai, Fried, Sauteed, Grilled, Slow Roasted... I tasted food at the fair that I'd never seen before or since. Then the animals and farm exhibits. Hundreds of livestock and booths extolling the very newest in farm tools and machines. And every night, there were events in the huge stadium/racetrack. Depending on the night,m you could find yourself watching monster trucks and real bands. For instance, this year they have Foreigner for their rock band and Kenny Rogers on the country night. We never really attended the events, but it was kind of cool. It was one of the rare times that legit names showed in an area like Eastern Idaho.

The main strip. Note how each booth sells one type of food.

So it was with a mix of goofy excitement and interest that we decided to go to the Topsham Fair yesterday. Now, don't get me wrong, I know normal fairs aren't as extensive as the State Fair was in Idaho, even the Pocatello Fair was unimpressive out there, but I was excited to see what a fair out here was like, and they do advertise it a lot, There's been a banner up about the 2010 Fair since we arrived in Topsham. If nothing else, we figured, it would be an entertaining evening of people watching, well worth our $7 per person admission.

Shabby, shabby, shabby.

Well, it was probably worth our $14 in giggles, but I was shocked at how, like many other things out here, there's so much room for improvement, but no one seems to care. Like, once you've been around for 156 years, you don't really need to try anymore. Sure, they had all of the requisite exhibits. They had a few carnival rides, a few booths with impossible games, food wagons and a perfunctory attempt to display some livestock and tractors, but it was all so half-hearted feeling. Yet people were there in droves. It was around 4pm on a Thursday evening when we attended, and though the crowds weren't overwhelming, there was a good group of people in every little corner of the place.

These sausages were nowhere near as hot and delicious as they looked.

For one thing, the fair was really poorly laid out. Most fairs you attend, everything is laid out in a pretty uniform fashion. The rides are in one section, the livestock in another and so forth. Here, food wagons jockeyed for position with ferris wheels and you could get heckled by the clown in the ball toss while trying to eat your fried dough. At first glance, there seemed to be a lot of food choices, too, but the more wandered around, the more we realized that for the most part, each wagon served one specific food, like one wagon for sausages, one for fish and chips and one for fried dough. Each one sold a few beverages and maybe some cotton candy on the side, but to get a meal, you had to make multiple trips and stand in five or six lines. And apart from the different wagons, there wasn't actually any variety. There were five separate wagons that sold nothing but fried dough. And not with any changes, either.

To be fair, the White Pants were more bloomers than pants. WHITE PANTS! WHOO!

Their exhibits were horrible too. Usually, the places the awards are displayed are dedicated buildings, the Photos in one room, etc... Here, all of them were crammed together in one building that also housed a model railroad and a food counter. So the artwork was hung crookedly next to 4x6 photos in dollar frames above rotting blue ribbon vegetables.

That's right, in the year of my birth, Dinosaurs were the featured article, with Aluminum being only slightly less important.

I realize that someone reading this post would assume that we hated all of this. I didn't. I get a kick out of ludicrous stuff like this. How the "Museum" housed a few artifacts, a couple of banners from previous fairs, a selection of National Geographics with a sign that said "Find your birth year and month - $3.00" and a bunch of kids in the corner playing Rock Band on the Playstation. Heck, if I hadn't already paid an entry fee, I would have paid to see the guy that looked like Kyle Gass from Tenacious D holding a Boa. It just bothers me when a few simple changes would have made the experience many times better but it seems like it isn't done out of laziness or complacency.

I genuinely cannot fathom what could bump a paper plate with 5 AC/DC cards on it down to second place.

So we spent about an hour and a half wandering in a circle. In fact, we made several laps of the fair, trying to find the wagon serving fried dough that didn't have them pre-cooked and sitting under heat lamps. We got heckled by carnies and bought a sausage that looked much better than it tasted. We watched a blacksmith in a college basketball t-shirt and Lindsay petted a cow, but after a while, we realized that unless we wanted to pay $8 to ride the ferris wheel, or throw our money away on stupid games of chance for stuffed toys we didn't need or want, it was time to go home. Although I did just realize how fun it would be to give a 3' tall care bear to the boys to destroy.

Reviews Of Unusual Size

  THE DEPUTY
by Victor Gischler
2010, 250 pages, paperback

1 -Don't get me wrong, I've dug Gischler's last couple of books, humorous fantasy/sci-fi novels about vampires and the apocalypse, but when I heard he was releasing a new crime novel about a slacker, part time deputy that gets into the middle of something far over his skills set, I was very excited.

2 - And with good reason. Gischler writes conscience free bad guys and real people in rough situations better than anyone around. In fact, I think it's a safe bet that Victor Gischler is the best crime novelist  alive today.

3 - His characters are dirty and stupid and mean, and generally perfectly human. There's no supernatural feats of daring or Batman-like fighting skills. Life is unfair in a Gischler novel, and I love it.

4 - The only thing that should stop you from rushing out and buying this today is that you can't read. Even if you can't, this is a real book, out of real paper, and I imagine it would balance out that TV you have stacked on top of your other TV quite nicely.

5 - Let's face it, even if I didn't already love Gischler, I would have bought this book based solely off of the blurb on the cover - From the author of GO-GO GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE. Though I am a bit perplexed by the one from Publisher's weekly, which is worded like this on the cover - "[S]olid noir from Gischler" Does that mean that Publisher's Weekly left off the S in Solid? How odd.

10/10

TRAPPED
by Jack Kilborn

2009, 245 pages, ebook

1 - This is the second novel by Jack Kilborn, the pseudonym used by author J.A. Konrath, author of the Jack Daniels series and this blog, which is a huge reason that I've come around to the idea of digital books. This review is also of only the first half of the file, the Revised novel, Trapped. I will review the second half at a later date.

2 -Essentially, a tale of survival, horror and cannibals, Trapped was deemed too graphic and hardcore for his publisher, so Kilborn did what he does best, released it in digital form himself for a good price, and sold the crap out of it.

3 - I was turned to Kilborn by my 12 year old nephew. I later realized that it was a pen name of an author I already loved, but when you have a kid ask you to read the only book he's ever finished, you check it out. And then you realize that the novel is totally inappropriate for a twelve year old.

4 - Trapped is a video nasty in book form, with graphic violence, mutants, genetically engineered killers, bad street slang, kids in jeopardy and bad government. It's one of those things that you have to be in the mood for, but man, is it perfect for when you are. If you aren't, you feel dirty afterwards, so be warned. It's a good book, but not for everyone. Especially if you don't relish the description of an eyeball bursting after a careful application of heat over a barbecue. While the person is still alive.

5 - Why do I love Konrath so much? Because Joe understands that digital books are the future, whether I like it or not. Besides having the brilliant idea for publishers to include a free download of the digital book with hardback purchases, an Idea that should be happening NOW, Joe realizes that digital books are like the DVD to VHS, and includes all sorts of extras in the file. Trapped not only includes the updated, revised version of the story, but at the end, there's a few decent length previews for other books and his original version of the book. The one that his publishers  made him go back and tame down. That's right, lurking at the back of the file is a second, full length novel even crazier than the one before. I assume. I'm saving that version for a later date. Maybe date is a bad word choice. Because that would be a horribly messed up date.

6/10

Writing - 

This afternoon, I should break  70,000 words on Graves! This is a big deal for me, I've never written a novel this long before, The Whispering Ferns was a children's novel and topped out at 49,000, and this is especially exciting because I have plans for this book. I'm going to actually start working on a query letter for an adult novel, query agents and a few select houses and then, if all else fails, I think this story has the potential to be successful as an e-book, so if I can't find an agent, I plan to make an attempt at publishing it myself.

The Last Sentence - 
"But you do have to say one thing about him. That zombie had awesome comedic timing."

From - "Graves" (WIP)

Cut, Paste, Kill

REVIEWS OF UNUSUAL SIZE

BOOKS

5 THINGS ABOUT...

CUT, PASTE, KILL

by Marshall Karp

2010, 296 pages, ARC

1 - This is the fourth book featuring the detective duo Lomax and Biggs. This time, they find themselves caught up in the crimes of a serial killer that believes they are righting society's wrongs, killing those that deserve it. At each scene the killer leaves an intricate scrapbook about the victim. A kind of vigilante with a Cricut.

2 - Like all of Karp's work, this book is funny. Sometimes extremely funny, so don't read it in a place that you might be embarrassed by sudden outbursts of the giggles, like church or a bathroom stall.

3 - There were a few great twists in the story. One was maybe a little over the top, but it fit with the story and though I should have, I never saw it coming.

4 - Carefully researched for scrapbooking accuracy and at times dark, CUT, PASTE, KILL still reads like a breeze, light, fast and funny. An excellent addition to Karp's series.

5 - Semi-Perfect! (Inside Joke, read the book!)

5/5

This was a very fun book, written by an author that knows how to make fans- by being smart, witty and honest. If you need further proof, check out his blog, his hilarious Facebook posts or pick up one of his other books. You will be glad you did. 

His last novel, Flipping Out was my favorite book of last year and CUT, Paste, Kill is a strong contender again this year. As always, stupendous!

CUT, PASTE, KILL is out on June 8th, order your copy now!

Catching Up On My Writing About Reading

REVIEWS OF UNUSUAL SIZE

A million books! Give or take. It's been far too long since I've updated my reading list and reviews on here. I'm not sure why. If I'd just write the dang review right after I read it, I wouldn't have such a daunting pile of books in front of me! Onward!

BOOKS

5 THINGS ABOUT...

TANNER'S TWELVE SWINGERS
by Lawrence Block
1999, 272 pages

1 -   The third book in the increasingly over-the-top Tanner series finds our sleepless hero travelling across the country, collecting an increasingly screwball collection of refugees.

2 -   I found myself getting annoyed with Tanner's character as this story progressed. At first, I loved the idea - a man that never sleeps and uses the extra 8 hours a day to learn languages, read books and champion lost causes but it seems to have changed to championing radical military groups from assorted countries, which I find much less appealing.

3 -   Tanner is still a great guy though and despite the escalating goofiness, I enjoyed the ride.

4 -   It should be interesting to see where the series goes with the next book.

5 -   Block initially resisted the title, preferring The Lettish Tomatoes, but I like the title quite a bit.

 6/10
_____________________

TROUBLE IN PARADISE

by Robert B. Parker

1998, 304 pages

1 -   Police Chief Jesse Stone has to protect his sleepy town from an elaborate and not very well planned out robbery scheme.

2 -   Jesse Stone remains a very appealing character. He has a distinct set of ethics and despite the self loathing is a good man. That kind of character is fun to read about, which would explain why there are over thirty Stone novels and a series of movies starring Tom Sellick.

3 -   Speaking of whom, Stone compares himself to the actor at one point, which made me wonder which came first, I would assume the movies.

4 -   The character of Crow is a good one. Nasty and mysterious, though you never really get a good feel for why he's so bad.

5 -   I felt this book ended far too abruptly, with everyone kind of just giving up, dying or escaping in a few pages.

6/10
_____________________

NOW & THEN

by Robert B. Parker

2007, 322 pages

1 -   This was the first Spenser novel I've read, though I used to watch the show regularly as a kid.

2 -   Spenser is just as cool in the books and Hawk is even cooler.

3 -  Spenser gets caught up in a simple infidelity investigation that turns complex, with spies, murder and government secrets.

4 -   Soon, Spenser has to call in his buddies to protect his lady. They were my personal favorite about the book. Loved them.

5 -   Robert B. Parker died recently and I've just started reading his work. There's a good reason he's so respected. His books are fun to read and have excellent characters.

 8/10
_____________________

BLACKMAILER

by George Axelrod

  1952, 202 pages

1 -   Old-School crime from the author of The Seven Year Itch.

2 -   Another extremely fine release from the good folks over at Hard Case Crime, with a gorgeous new Orbik cover and the retro-sweet touches that make me googly eyed.

3 -   Satiric, fun and nasty, a hapless book publisher has to unravel the secret behind a prestigious and previously unknown manuscript from a recently deceased Nobel Prize-winning author. But if it's unknown, why do so many people seem to know about it, and why do they all want him to print it?

4 -   Swishes hollywood starlets, thinly veiled homages to authors and personalities around in a tumbler to create a delightful little drink.

5 -   Did I mention how much I love Hard Case Crime? Look at that cover above, then go here to see the original. Back? Isn't this new cover a peach? I raise my glass to HCC for reprinting these gems and scattering them out for a modern audience. And making them look good.

8/10
_____________________

VOID MOON

by Michael Connelly

2000, 450 pages

1 -   A rarity for Connelly, a one-shot featuring a "villain" as the main protagonist.

2 -   Years ago, Cassie Black went to prison for her part in a casino robbery gone horribly wrong. Out on parole, she tries to leave her old life behind. Until she learns something that forces her to take a job back in Vegas, to the same casino where her beloved died all those years before

3 -   Standard Connelly, which is to say a quick read with original characters. I liked it, but I never got the feel of Vegas that I usually get from books like this.

4 -   A couple of silly parts in here too, and the villain was never as stone-cold as they made it sound on the cover. In fact, he seemed a bit bumbling.

5 -   My cover, featuring a white and black casino chip in an eclipse is much cooler than the cover online.

7/10
_____________________

PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS -

THE LIGHTNING THIEF

by Rick Riordan

2005, 375 pages

1 -   I wanted to not like this. But I did.

2 -   Percy Jackson is kind of the Middle Grade fiction that gets on my nerves. Modern feeling, with a sarcastic and snarky main character, a gimmick, and a huge following.

3 -   I read this because it's my nephew's favorite book and I promised him I would, if he would read the second one when I finished. He's read this installment six or seven times but hasn't read the second.

4 -   I was surprised at how likeable Percy ended up being, though his female friend is pretty forgettable to me. The idea, while gimmicky, is pretty well executed, too.

5 -   I love Riordan's previous adult novels, modern detective books. Check them out! (It's also possible that this is why I didn't want to like the Percy Jackson books, I like Rick's adult stuff too much to want him to stop writing them.)

 8/10
_____________________

DAY BY DAY ARMAGEDDON

by J.L. Bourne
 2009, 224 pages

1 -   Zombie mayhem written in diary form! Originally self published online, the book now has a proper release, a sequel and hollywood nosing around.

2 -   Too bad it's so dire.

3 -   The characters are thinly fleshed out, even the main character, who seems like a generic army boy. Stupid, well versed in gun terminology, conveniently able to fly a plane... Ugh. I'm really afraid that others will read the zombie novel I'm writing and say the same thing about it, but I got so annoyed with the main character here.

4 -   The zombies seemed to change their definitions slightly throughout the story, and not in the good way, more like the author forgot whether they could do something and just winged it.

5 -   All the same, it was a fast read and won't disappoint fans of the genre too much. I liked it enough to finish it on my computer when my version on the nook konked out 3/4 of the way through, I just really disliked the Hoo-Rah dumb jock main character.

6/10
_____________________

THE POSTMAN

by David Brin
 1997, 336 pages

1 -   When the world ends, a lone shyster finds a postman's uniform and mailbags and inadvertantly starts a revolution of civilization.

2 -   I dig the concept of this book, and Brin creates a very bleak but realistic world for the postman.

3 -   It starts out great, really strong, with one of my favorite post-apocalyptic worldviews and interesting people living in it.

4 -   Then it throws in genetic supermen, over the top war sequences, silly coincidences and an all too pat ending. Blast!

5 -   No Tom Petty.

7/10
_____________________

BLACK CHERRY BLUES

by James Lee Burke
 1990, 384 pages

1 -   I love Dave Robicheaux and the Louisianan world that Burke has created. Dave is a real person with a lot of little ticks and mannerisims that make him such a kick to read about.

2 -   To be honest, I don't actually remember what the story was in this novel... But I recall liking it. Something with a bad guy and fishing and... I can't remember.

3 -   (After checking....) Oh yeah! Robicheaux goes to Montana and stomps around Missoula a bit on the trail of a missing person. Which, by the way, I got the feeling that Burke actually visited Missoula for the novel. He manages to get the feel for the country along with details of the area spot on.

4 -   I always want a Dr. Pepper with fresh lime while I read these books.

5 -   The version of this book I read on my nook calls the town he visits "Poison, MT" I don't know if it was an intentional choice to use a fictional town, or if the computer program that converted this to a digital book misread the very real town of Polson, MT, which happens to exist roughly where he describes Poison in my text here...

9/10
_____________________

MONSTER PLANET

by David Wellington
2007, 320 pages

1 -   I liked the first one of these books.

2 -   Then the zombies started talking, gaining telepathic powers and other nonsense.

3 -   Then it got worse.

4 -   This book, the third, got even worse.

5 -   That's right, I'm criticizing a zombie book for being over the top and silly. A line must be drawn somewhere!

1/10

The Bookman Cometh!

Now Playing -
Dog Eared Page by The Matches

Life - 

Pretty generic night at work, considering it was a full moon. I think the fridgid cold kept most of the nuts at home, cuddled up with their mescalin and strawberry cheesecake tyrannosauruses. Although my cashier's constant, almost manic, good moods are starting to drive me crazy.



What are twelve good reasons to join the Hard Case Crime Book Club?

These twelve books, after shipping, only twenty bills, baby. It's like finding a suitcase full of money behind a dumpster without all of the gangsters chasing you. Nothing like hot crime on a cold night in the middle of Idaho.

Book Reviews

Catching up here, I've been lax on my reviews!

FIVE THINGS ABOUT -

FALSE DAWN

by Paul Levine

1994, 368 pages

Yet another Miami-based novel about a PI and the ever present problems with Cuba and people that love both places.

Readable, but a bit self-important and preachy.

Nice characters, though the wind surfing seemed completely superfluous.

A major character seems to be introduced through a completely implausible coincidence.

Missing artwork heist book!

2/5

THE WRATH OF THE GRINNING GHOST

by John Bellairs and Brad Strickland

1999, 176 pages

Yet another Bellairs book, if you can't tell, I may be addicted to nostalgia.

Extremely outlandish plot, even for this genre.

Fun and quick moving, especially when Fergie is around.

Once again, Strickland does a stellar job of sounding like Bellairs yet adding his own touches.

My least favorite of the Gorey covers, done just before he died, I believe.

3/5

GONE FISHIN'

by Walter Mosley

1997, 244 pages

A throwback to Easy Rawlin's early days in the 1930's.

Great dialogue, characters and situations.

The atmosphere is so compelling and vividly written that you can't help but see it clearly, feel the wet heat on your skin.

Recommended whether you've read any of the Easy Rawlins novels or not, can stand on it's own.

Surprisingly brief, with large print and margins, almost like a book typeset for younger people.

4/5

THE MYSTERIOUS BENEDICT SOCIETY

by Trenton Lee Stewart

2008, 512 pages

What I had hoped the Lemony Snickett books would be like, full of intrigue and secrets.

Great cast of characters, creative and memorable.

Fun, twisty, subversive villain and a plot to rule the world!

The artist is a graduate of the University of Montana, my wife's alma mater. Go Griz!

Thick book, but it reads smoothly, the story drawing you along on it's clever twists and turns.

4/5

BLASPHEMY
by Douglas Preston
2008, 416 pages

A typically fun novel from the co-author of The Relic.

Skirts around religion, creation and man's views on each, coming away with a truly unique take on it.

As unique as it is, it somehow still felt like we'd seen it before.

I never really felt any strong connection to the characters.

A not so sly dig at Scientology?

3/5


KING CON
by Stephen Cannell
1998, 448 pages

Fast paced novel about a family of con men and an attorney caught in their latest scheme.

Talks the talk, but never really walks the walk.

A great, slow burning con that fizzles out, never giving you the twist you expect throughout.

Still satisfying though, Beano, King Con himself, is a lot of fun.

Cannell is a regular cameo on the television program "Castle" where he plays poker with the writer main character.

3/5




THE LONGEST CHRISTMAS LIST EVER
by Greg and Evan Spiridellis
2007, 32 pages

Cute, energetic artwork.

Creative, modern rhymes and storyline.

I saw this book and couldn't resist it - the perfect combination of story, art and subject matter

The plot does strike a little close to home for me!

"Six Trillion Dollars!"

5/5


Writing - 

Nothing, again. In fact, I didn't even manage to get any revising done last night.

Packing the Fall. Again.

Now Playing -
Life Gets Better by Booth and the Bad Angel

Life - 

Well, it was right around a year ago that we started packing in earnest for what we thought was to be our triumphant trip to Washington to run a Motel. This year, we are once again packing, and again, in anticipation of a potential move West. Of course, the main reason we're doing it right now is so that my mom and brother can come and move in with us, living in the basement.... Urgh. We want to do this right though, not just shove everything in boxes, in the hopes that they'll then be loaded onto a moving truck when I get a transfer. So far the library is packed and mostly moved and the dog's kennels, where they stay when we're at work have been moved upstairs. Still a lot of work ahead of us, to say nothing of the integration afterwards!

Book Reviews - 

I read two great books this time around, two very different books too. One was about a girl in love with a boy that becomes a wolf when he gets cold, and the other was about a dog that becomes a detective when a girl goes cold. Lots of fun!

SHIVER

by Maggie Stiefvater

2009, 392 pages

Beneath the gorgeous cover and design of the book lurks an even more magnificent beast, lyrical and poetic.

Virtually drips with a forbidden and incomprehensible love that leaves you longing for that first taste again.

Shiver has a unique take on Werewolves that is pure fairy tale, yet seems more realistic than many stories.

Should be more popular than Twilight, or any other book of that ilk.

For some reason, the subtle blue ink and the simple chapter/temperature headings really rock my socks. It's amazing the difference little touches like that make.

5/5

(Maggie is also a talented artist and musician, I strongly suggest that everyone visit her website, watch the teaser for Shiver and fall in love with it the way I did!)

THE CORPSE WORE PASTIES

by Jonny Porkpie

2009, 225 pages

(Advance Reader Copy Review, the book is released on November 24, 2009!)

Not your grandpappy's crime novel, though you can bet he wishes he had something so titillating and funny to hide in the basement.

Written by the self-appointed "Burlesque Mayor of New York City," Porkpie comes off so appealing and hilarious that the reader wants to quit their day job and start a career as one of his steamer trunk members. (I assume he has a steamer trunk instead of a cabinet...)

Full of colorful and naughty characters, many so good that they have to be true.

The official Go-To book for underwear metaphors!

This is crime for the Rockabilly Geekcore set, for anyone with tats, piercings, comic books and an Apple computer. For anyone that ever put on a trenchcoat and had to decide between Marlowe and Gibson when it comes time to accessorize. Highly Recommended!

5/5

(For more info on the Hard Case Crime series of books, check out their website. They also offer a mail order book club that is very, very cool.)

Writing - 

Progress at long last! I finally found my new beginning for The Whispering Ferns. After deciding months ago that it needed to have a snappier opening, I cut the first three chapters (roughly) starting the book as Smith is on the plane on the way out to Washington state to live with his aunt and uncle. The problem was where to start it. I'd considered starting it with one of his dreams, but it's cliche. The last thing I want to do is scare someone off for starting a book with a dream. Finally, I found a place that I like. I need to re-jigger it a bit, but it should let me get a bit of backstory in easily and sound pretty strong.

Now if I can find time to really dive into it....

The Last Sentence - 

"My dad's a famous explorer, you know. Well, kind of famous anyway."

From - "The Whispering Ferns" (WIP)

Book Reviews - Bride Of Recent Reads

Whoops, almost a month between reviews again! I've gotta stop taking so long. This set took me so long to type up that I've read two books since I started! Still, thirteen books in 28 days aint too bad.

I have fallen in love with Hard Case Crime, publishers of fine reprint and original hardboiled crime novels. They all have a stylin' new cover, painted exclusively for the book, lurid titles, excellent retro design. I love them ever so much. They even have a mail order service. Forget magazines, I want a new novel in the mail every month! Maybe next month I'd get Satan Is A Woman, or Losers Live Longer! Hooray for old-school crime!

THE COLORADO KID
By Stephen King
2005, 184 pages

What a great book. I've read online that a lot of people were either in love with, or despised the ending of this book. Without giving anything away, I fell solidly into the Love category. I wish King would write more stuff like this! Two old newsmen tell a roundabout story of a fellah's death to a young female reporter. There's both more and less to the story than it seems.

8/10


BUST
By Ken Bruen & Jason Starr
2006, 254 pages

Bust was the first HCC novel I read, and it was a great choice. Psychopathic hitmen, sexy women, rich men. Double-crossing each other left and right, with just the right amount of sex and violence. A perfect, old school crime novel.

9/10


THE LAST MATCH
By David Dodge
2006, 319 pages

My first real disappointment with the HCC line. If i'd read the afterword first, I would have gotten a pretty good handle on why I don't care for this novel. It was written by a woman's father, she edited and revised it, and from what I can tell, both of them were pretty pretentious about the story. These kinds of books need a sense of fun, not a feel that they think they're writing something important.

3/10


GRIFTER'S GAME
By Lawrence Block
1961, 205 pages

I love Lawrence Block. His writing always gives me a real feel for the era, and his deliciously immoral characters give me happy feelings inside. Read this.

8/10


THE VENGEFUL VIRGIN
By Gil Brewer
1958, 220 pages

Man, this book got me the funniest look from my nephew (in-law) when he walked in and saw me reading it. Nothing like a book with the word VIRGIN on it, with a shot of a blonde with a gun and money in front of a fire to shock a ten-year-old! Sweet ride from the author of Satan is a Woman. A pretty, naive and crazy young girl convinces the TV repair man to bump off an old man and run away with his money. Sounds so simple...

7/10

SLEEP WITH THE FISHES
By Brian M. Wiprud
2006, 239 pages

I've liked Wiprud ever since I picked up Stuffed at a used book store in Newport a few years ago. His characters are wacky, but not so over the top as to be completely unbelievable, and the stories are a rollicking good time. Unfortunately, Sleep left me a bit flat. I don't know if it was the fishing or that the main character seemed a bit less developed than his norm, but It left me craving one of his earlier books. It kind of seemed like a Hiassen book, actually. Good, but not qute as good as it could have been.

6/10

THE PISTOL POETS
By Vistor Gischler
2005, 340 pages

Gischler is one of those authors that I like a lot, but have a hard time remembering him when I go to buy a book or am shopping in a bookstore without my used list on me. I bought Gun Monkeys, one of his earlier books in a creepy old used book store in Northern Montana, and never saw another until last year when I managed to track down the rest. The story of Poets, which gets pretty convoluted has a teacher waking to find a dead student in his bed, a drug dealer trying to go straight, a reclusive professor, and a few little surprises along the way. I really got a kick out of this, though there were a few aspects that left me thinking I'd missed a paragraph explaining things. I'm also anxiously awaiting the arrival of his newest, Go Go Girls Of The Apocalypse. That's right, Go Go Girls Of The Apocalypse. a title so good that I had to write it twice.

7/10

JAKE RANSOM AND THE SKULL KING'S SHADOW
By James Rollins
2009, 397 pages

I really wanted to like this. I dig Rollins' adult novels, they're Indiana Jones style adventures with enough intrigue and black ops in them to keep you guessing and his first kids book looked to be more of the same, but for a younger set with a more over the top theme. Unfortunately, the plot is VERY over-the-top, with too many convenient answers. It was still fun, a great adventure and I'll read his others in the series when they're written, but this one left me rolling my eyes a few times too often to fully recommend it. Also, he uses the name Brontosaurus at one point, is that an accurate dinosaur name now?

6/10


THE BRASS VERDICT
By Michael Connelly
2008, 422 pages

Connelly is a great writer, and his Lincoln Lawyer character is one of my favorites, second only to Det. Harry Bosch, yet this installment left me feeling pretty flat. The two never really seemed to mesh, Bosch especially coming off as flat, though that may have been because we saw him from Mickey Haller's view. Still, I get the impression that he could write a quick thriller on the pot, and this one still had a twisty plot and good dialogue.

7/10


EVIL GENIUS
By Catherine Jinks
2005, 486 pages

Man, I checked this book out from the library expecting a completely different novel. Somehow, I thought with the catchy phrases, cartoony design and big logo that I'd chosen a kids book, completely disregarding the fact that I'd grabbed it from the young adult section. It's about a kid that goes to an evil villain high school/college, where miscreants are trained for a life of crime. I had expected a book about a 12 or 13 year old doing that, instead, getting a teen with all of the angst and hormones that go with it, but that didn't make it a bad book. It was still funny, clever and a great read, just not what I'd thought I was reading.

7/10

EMERALD FLASH
By Charles Knief
1999, 292 pages

I loved this book. Funny, poignant and really action packed, this was my favorite from Kneif so far. His character, Private Eye, John Caine is a fellow in his late forties that is about as hard as they come. He lives on a boat, enjoys Hawaii and gets his butt kicked a lot. He always gives back better than he gets though and walks away with the girl. The settings for the book are gorgeous and his supporting cast, especially crime lord Chawlie and officer Kimo are very memorable.

9/10


WORLD WAR Z
By Max Brooks
2006, 342 pages

Overrated. I love the cheeky humor and daily usefulness of Max Brooks Zombie Survival handbook, but this overblown, "History" of a zombie war that never was left my calling out for brains and staggering around. It wasn't horrible and there were a few slivers of brilliance, but there was too much focus on silly things. Some people I know love it. Good for them.

3/10



FUZZY NAVEL
By J.A. Konrath
2008, 271 pages

Aww, man, did this book piss me off. Which is part of why I loved it. Joe Konrath's books all feature the detective Jack Daniels, her portly partner, her smarmy ex-partner, her mom, a friend, her evil cat and her boyfriend, as well as some of the best, soulless criminals around. For Fuzzy Navel, he crams all of them into a single house, surrounds it with snipers and shreds the walls with bullets. I read this in one setting and after the cliffhanger ending, if I'd had the next book, I would have read it too. Good, suspenseful, yet hilarious book.

9/10

Book Review - Quick Reviews of Recent Reads

Unfortunately, I've been kind of lax at the updating lately, between replacing the hot water heater, helping my brother move, trying to get some art and writing done and heading back to work, things seem to have gotten away from me. To help get things back up to speed, here's some super short reviews of my recent reads.

The Treasure of Alpheus Winterborn
by John Bellairs
1978, 181 pages

John Bellairs was always one of my absolute favorite writers growing up, and this book is one of my faves amongst them. The book I read was my original copy from when I was a kid, and I enjoyed it every bit as much now. He has a knack for telling a great mystery with realistic characters. I always wanted to be a person in his stories. Highly Recommended!

10/10

Series of Unfortunate Events Book 1 - The Bad Beginning
by Lemony Snickett
1999, 162 pages

I've decided that I would try to write a young adult mystery novel recently, and to that end figured I should read some recent books as well as revisit some of my old favorites, so Lemony Snickett seemed a natural choice. The first book was a lot of fun, told with just the right amount of sarcasm and fun, the black humor plays really well in it.

7/10

Series of Unfortunate Events Book 2 - The Reptile Room
by Lemony Snickett
1999, 190 pages

The second Lemony Snickett didn't play as well, it seemed incredibly short, the bulk of the book seems to take place in less than a day of time, and events seem to happen far to quickly. Still a fun read, but it seems more like the chapter of a book, rather than a full installment.

4/10

The Woods
by Harlan Coben
2007, 416 pages

Most certainly NOT a kids book, the story of a lawyers search for his missing sister and the mystery of what really happened in a horrible event at summer camp years ago. Gripping and great. While I saw the ending coming, it was still very well told.

7/10

Fresh Disasters
by Stuart Woods
2007, 352 pages

A hardboiled novel about a libidinous litigator and his outlandish acquaintances. A little short seeming, but fun as hell to read!

8/10


Bad Boy Brawly Brown
by Walter Mosley
2008, 320 pages

One of my absolute favorite books to read in a LONG time. The story of Easy Rawlins, a black man in 1964 L.A. doing a few "Favors" for people, that gets caught up in a world of murder, cults and conspiracies. I love the character, loved the writing even more. Mosley is now one of my top 10 crime authors, and the photo on the back fits my image of the author exactly. Very cool book.

9/10