Thursday, November 19, 2009

Cleaning Up and "Twilight" Innovations!

Life - 

Been ever so busy, and need to jet pretty quickly, but a couple of brief points for ya today.

The two worst things to clean up when you work Graves at a Drug Store - 

Snow Globes
When they break, you get glass, massive amounts of glitter, an odd water-esque substance and little pieces of Disney Princesses everywhere. How do you clean this up? A mop gets glass in it and a broom gets too wet to function properly. And glitter gets everywhere, promptly drying permanently to whatever it touches.

Massive, horrible explosions of poo all over the bathroom toilet, floor, stall, toilet dispenser and walls.
This happens far more often than you could ever possibly conceive. And cleaning it up is even worse. That's when you decide to ignore it and if someone questions you, claim that it must have happened after your shift. I don't know how this happens or how the culprit could possibly escape unscathed, but there'd better be a special place in Hell for them.

My breakthrough Innovation in products for the Twilight series of books and movies - 

Twilight Toothpaste!

This is clearly a must have. Blood red, so that it looks like you're feasting chastely on the fluid of your beloved and just like the studly and (with the exception of his hair) well groomed star of Twilight, Edward Cullen, it makes you SPARKLE!

I'll expect my royalty check any day now.

1 comment:

randymeiss said...

I'm all too familiar with the filthy rest room story. I worked at a McDonald's when I was in high school and had to clean feces off the walls and doors a few times. It was probably the most disgusting thing I've ever had to do.