Not Bugged

Now Playing -
Crickets in the forest behind my house

Life -

One of these times, I'm going to get to spend my days off doing absolutely nothing and going nowhere. But for now, I'll have to be content spending it creating a nice little oasis for us to spend the evenings.

A

A dragonfly on the inside of the screen

We finally finished the painting on our back porch last night (sort of. We actually have to buy another gallon of white at some point to finish the roof, but that can wait) and this afternoon, I braved the sun and evil ants that live in our bushes to screen it in. I'm really happy with the colors my wife chose. At first, I was kind of hesitant to go with the yellow, but it really does make the porch seem sunny and pleasant.

Our New Porch!

There's still a bit of work to be done, but we pulled out some chairs this evening and as I type this, we're sitting comfortably, a slight breeze stirring the trees, crickets chirping, a hummingbird at the feeder and cinnamon scented Salt City candle flickering beside us. Pretty nice!

Pooka




Reviews Of Unusual Size
 Five Things About...

Books - 

 
GHOST ROAD BLUES
by Jonathan Maberry
2006, 480 pages, ebook
 

1 - I  thought that I'd first discovered Maberry with his zombie novel, Patient Zero, but upon reading this supernatural horror, I realized that I had actually checked out the second novel in the series a few years ago from the library, realized it was the second book, became disappointed and returned it, unread. 

2 - Which means I should have been on the Jonathan Maberry bandwagon from much earlier, and so should you. His novels have great characters and their stories are creepy and well thought out. He has a few other books, including some intriguing-looking non-fiction and a Young Adult zombie novel headed this way too.

3 - The small isolated town of Pine Deep has always been a haunted place. A fact celebrated and taken advantage of every October with haunted hayrides, rubber hands and goulish guest stars. But when a killer arrives in the midst of a rare black harvest, the townsfolk may have their hands full with real horrors. Ones darkly reminiscent of a terrible October thirty years ago...

4 - Sometimes I'm in the mood for a fun, gory, supernatural horror novel and especially with the doses of humor and pop culture references sprinkled through it, Ghost Road Blues hit the spot.

5 - But be warned, this is the first book in the trilogy, and if you don't have book two queued up and ready to dive into, you might be a little haunted yourself until you can track a copy down!

8/10

ALONG CAME A SPIDER
by James Patterson
 1993, 494 pages, ebook

1 - I think this is James Patterson's first novel. I do know that I've seen it with six different covers, watched the movie based off of it, and been amazed at the dozens of books that Patterson has followed it with.

2 - A tightly written, if a bit predictable detective thriller about a high profile kidnapping that begins to overlap with other cases from the past.

3 - Introduces Detective Cross, a tall, handsome, African-American, Psychiatrist Detective. He also loves his kids and his momma, and has a similarly tall, handsome, muscular, wise cracking, African-American partner.Despite the slight cliche overload and the fact that they don't seem as fully developed in this first novel, Patterson has created a great duo.

4 - The villain didn't really do much for me, but the plan and some of the twists were nice.

5 - James Patterson is writing a novel with the Always Stupendous Marshall Karp now, I believe it'll be out in 2011, so mark your calendars. That book is going to be very, very entertaining.

7/10


 

Writing - 

More progress, though it's slow going. I'm at nearly 65,000 words now on my zombie novel!

The Last Sentence - 

I thought campers had toilets!

From - " Graves " (WIP)

Bugged

Now Playing -
40 Dogs (Romeo & Juliet)
by Bob Schneider

Life -

Man. Work sucks. Which is funny, because I don't particularly hate my job, but every day the last couple of weeks has left me feeling burnt to a crisp. Dealing with upset customers, training a new manager, losing an old manager, picking up the slack from my current main manager, employees leaving, quitting, angry because of my boss, transferring, getting sent to the bin for pschiatric observation.... I'm amazed I have any non-PITA employees left!

I get home, and all I want to do is curl up in a ball with a good book and turn the world off for a few hours. So that's what I've been doing. 

But yesterday, Lindsay and I finally had a day off together, and we have today as well, so we had some fun. Which meant work... So maybe I should say we made an investmnet in the fun of the future. We decided to screen in our back porch!

The back porch was one of my favorite things about this place when we first took it. I love the idea of relaxing in the privacy of this land, trees towering overhead, the frogs and loons audible in the distance. Then I learned of the roughly six billion insects that got brain damage on my porch light every night. Dizzied and dumb, they'd then flit crookedly at my face. So the porch became an area to grill a wiener briefly or walk through on the way to the car. This does not thrill me, so I started working on my wife, on the idea of screening in the entire thing. She's always thought her family should have screened in their back porch, an idea that she probably devised so that she could sit on the swing with her cat and read VC Andrews books without molestation of any kind but the plotlines of the books. (Those are some pretty messed up families in those books.) 

So she came around to the idea, and yesterday, we gathered up what we needed. A pile of assorted boards, some sealant, a screen door, lots of little numbers with x's between them, and I spent a good chunk of yesterday transforming our porch from an extremely hillbilly-chic porch into a slightly more closed in Hillbilly-Chic porch.

It turns out, regardless of how closely you measure, when you are using cheap boards, a cheap handsaw and assembling something on a structure where there are no right angles and boards older than my wife, making something look nice is impossible. (Which was in no way intended as a dig at my wife, who is both young and beautiful.)

Our Porch. Not Pictured - Car Up On Blocks & Case Of PBR.

But making something look quirky and fun is totally in the cards, so in a few weeks of gradual sealing, painting, screening and decorating, we plan to finish up the porch as our little beach retreat. A little piece of the West Coast out here on the East. (I am aware that there is a beach out here, but regardless of what people say, it ain't the same at all.) 

Yesterday we got as far as most of the framing and started a bit of the painting and sealing. It still looks wonky and jagged, and there are a few places where I had to make up ways to make it fit, and the fact that entire porch moves different ways depending on how you stand didn't help, but I think it looks pretty decent. And it should look much better once it's finished, painted and screens are up!

O

Our Porch, Now With More Railings!

Afterward, I took a nap, Orbie and I hung out on the porch for a little bit, then we hit up Wal-Mart for a few foodstuffs and Home Depot for a few last supplies. The thing I'm most excited about with the project is how much easier it was to saw, drill and hammer things than it was when I first did a few things when we moved in here. Since my accident, my arms are finally regaining their strength (Though strangely - My biceps are almost back, but my triceps are still struggling.) It was actually a joy to saw things and lug boards without my arms screaming in pain as I tried to do things that should have been simple. 

 Reviews Of Unusual Size
5 Things About...


Books

NOBODY'S ANGEL
by Jack Clark
2010, 221 pages, Paperback

1 - Another Hard Case Crime novel! I've been feeling down in the dumps lately, so the idea of curling up with a physical book again sounded great, and this tome, about a Chicago cabbie hunting for a killer was the perfect balm.

2 - Loved the descriptions of the town in this. Absolutely loved them. Clark really drove home what it was like to work the streets. The way the neighborhoods were changing and becoming dangerous. What lengths a man would go to in order to stay safe in a dangerous profession.

3 - I did just realize that I have no idea when this was supposed to take place, though. I assumed the seventies, but with the exception of the absence of cell phones, it could almost have been yesterday.

4 - Written with black humor and a little bit of desperate sex and violence. Just like any good book should have.

5 - OFF DUTY.

8/10

Writing - 
 Cranked out another 2000 words today before writing this. The rest of the week? Not so much.

The Last Sentence - 

He's doing a little dance too, and I'll be damned if I don't want to join in.
 

From - "Graves" (WIP)

Blog Title #4

         Reviews Of Unusual Size          

Some short reviews today, I need to catch up on things!


Books

5 Things About...

THE SPLIT (AKA THE SEVENTH)
by Richard Stark
1966, 168 pages, e-book

1 - The Seventh Parker novel. He also goes after his cut of a take that was stolen from him. His seventh of the take, coincidentally.

2 - Parker is dogged by a villain a little too convenient and lucky, in my opinion.

3 - My least favorite of the series so far. Usually, I think the Parker novels are too brief, that they rush along so fast that when the end comes, I want to keep reading. This one was not like that.

4 - Still rich with period details and great tough-guy dialogue, however.

5 - Never leave your dough in an apartment with a nude woman and go out to get smokes. Even if she says she'll make you breakfast while you're out.

6/10

DEAD IN THE WATER
by Stuart Woods
2009, 464 pages, e-book

1 - Stuart Woods manages to write thick books that are fun, a little goofy and pretty good at evaporating from your memory before you've started dinner. Which makes them perfect summer reads, in my opinion.

2 - I genuinely can not remember the plot of this book, and I read it less than a week ago.

3 - Actually, after looking up the plot, I remembered liking this novel quite a bit. Stone Barrington, lawyer and ladies man, has to defend a young woman's life on the stand in St. Marks, where the local magistrate has a bone to pick and wants to hang her for the death of her husband, whom she claims had a heart attack at sea. Or did he?

4 - A tropical twist on the usual lawyer thriller, Dead In The Water is probably the best Stone Barrington novel so far.

5 - So why did I forget what it was about?

7/10

THE FIRST RULE
by Robert Crais
2010, 432 pages, e-book

1 - A new Joe Pike/Elvis Cole novel! Hooray!

2 - I love Robert Crais. He hasn't let me down yet, and if you haven't read any of his books, you should go out and find some. They aren't as funny as Marshall Karp's novels, but they still have nice little doses of humor mixed in with the all of the awesome killing.

3 - To me, Joe Pike is a better Strong, Silent Hero than Lee Child's Reacher, and part of that is probably his partner, Elvis Cole. The Fozzie Bear to Pike's Kermit.

4 - Crais pulls the old "Big tough guy protects a baby" plot out of the hat this time, and I was worried, but he manages to keep it good, though a bit predictable in regards to the baby subplot.

5 - Robert Crais is a pretty cool guy, and he wears bright shirts on occasion. Just sayin'.

8/10

VAMPIRE A GO-GO
by Victor Gischler
2009, 352 pages, e-book

1 - Victor Gischler is an extremely talented and funny dude, who balances sci-fi novels, crime books, comic books and barbecuing in a way that I can only hope to emulate some day.

2 - Vampire A Go-Go takes sly jabs at vampire lore, the occult, the Vatican, travel books and the philosophers Stone. Which makes for a crazy book.

3 - Enjoyable, though at times disjointed and over the top. Though with Gischler, disjointed and over the top is still enjoyable.

4 - Oh yeah, there's a werewolf too. Sorry, lycanthrope.

5 - Despite the title, very little vampire and even less go-go-ing.

8/10

GOD SAVE THE CHILD
by Robert B. Parker
1987, 208 pages, e-book

1 - Another Spencer novel, one of the first.

2 - You can tell that Parker is just starting to flesh out the charcter of Spenser in this novel. He cracks wise, carves wood, woos women and cooks fancy meals. And sometimes solves crimes.

3 - I was surprised at the level of detail given to everyone's clothing in this book. At times I felt like I was reading a really effusive catalog entry.

4 - Good book, but the ending was pretty obvious from the get-go and it seemed to take a long time to get there. The child, Kevin, had some really crappy parents.

5 - This was missing the snappy patter and sharp dialogue that I've enjoyed in other Parker novels.

5/10

FEVER DREAM
by Lincoln Child and Douglas Preston
2010, 416 pages, e-book

1 - Pendergast is back, still exorcising his past's demons. This time unraveling the twisty past and fate of his wife.

2 - For a little while in the beginning, I thought the book would take place exclusively in the past, a tale of Pendergast's early days, and I was pretty pumped to read it.

3 - Then it bounced to the present day. Which was okay. I  just thought the idea of a Young Pendergast story would have been fun.

4 - The Audubon Code! I liked the way Preston and Child integrated Audubon into the story, but it did seem like the "disease" in question reacted differently with him than others. Maybe it was a different strain?

5 -  Their next book? A totally new series!

8/10



Yes, I am aware that these reviews are more of a collection of random thoughts that only mostly refer to the book in question. That's the way I roll.

Writing - 

Finally, some progress! I cracked 60,000 words on Graves, with what I think is around 20,000 to go. The best part though is that the exciting, dramatic confrontation is next, and I'm pretty pumped to dive in.

The Last Sentence - 

"Let everyone down there know that it's time."

From - " GRAVES " (WIP)

Hot Blacktop

Now Playing -
The Day The World Went Away
by Nine Inch Nails

Life - 

 Belfast, seen from the bridge.

Ahh, Belfast. Not as wonderful as it could have been, but not as bad as I'd feared. We started the day out bright and early, getting on the road by 9-ish (Which isn't really that early for us, but for a road trip it was early - we always seem to have myriad little tasks those mornings that keep us late) Linz still had a few paychecks we hadn't deposited, so we ran past there and deposited them. I also made the decision that my shirts I have out here were designed for a much drier, windier climate, so we swung by the Goodwill to see if they had any lighter-weight shirts. Turns out the only shirts people take to goodwill in Maine that are for dudes my size are gaudy Hawaiian shirts. Perfect! I chose one in yellow with some faded flowers on it. 

Properly equipped, we headed out. Beyond Bath, we realized why we liked that area so much and vowed to return on a day that we can spend a bit of time - Bath and it's nearby towns are really cute. Not overly touristy, a little run down and goofy, with fruit and veg stands littered along the way. And lots of antique stores, though most fell into the realm of junk stores, rather than antiques. There have been a few shops here that sell legit, old, gorgeous pieces, but for the most part, the shops look like pawn shops back home - full of weird old crap that someone might want... eventually. I only stopped for three things. A hilariously tiny beach, probably about 250 square feet total, that was littered with desperate sunbathers, we wandered around Moody's Diner a bit and I stopped at some person's house that was selling Peas! $2.50 a pound for hand picked, home grown peas is a steal in my book, so even when she announced that they were in 5 pound bags, all I could ask was if they took debit cards. Mmmmm. Peas.

T

Tiny Beach!

 

One note about the trip - We should have remembered to get cash. It's essential when doing this kind of thing. Especially when our favorite places to eat consist of trailers and stands that barely have electricity, let alone a credit card machine.

Carved Faces In Belfast

 

For the most part, we breezed through the little towns. Stopping every now and then to look at a particularly nice house, but generally just getting the feel for the area. Most of it had a nice, rural feel, with little touches of the beach. Camden, which Lindsay had wanted to visit since watching Casper and learning that it was filmed there was cute, but very tourist clogged. 

G

Gorgeous Buildings In Downtown Belfast.

Belfast itself was a pretty town. Built along the water, like 3/4 of Maine seems to be, their roads are hilly and winding and they have a really interesting but small downtown. Here's where we made or realized our real mistakes of the trip. Taking the dogs with us in the middle of summer was not a good move.

 Pooped Puppies.

It was too hot to leave them in the car, ever. SO any time we wanted to see something, we had to take them along, which dramatically limited where we could go. We did decide to take them for a walk around Belfast's downtown and they enjoyed it, but the heat and hilly roads soon got to them and we had to head back. 

Carved Squirrel Outside Of Perry's Nut House

Just beyond Belfast, on the other side of the bay, we found my favorite business in Maine so far. Perry's Nut House. I didn't buy anything, and there are a few things they could do to get it up to my high code of awesome, but they've made the best attempt of any beach/tourist establishment in Maine that we've found. If you couldn't guess, Perry's sells nuts. But they also have a crazy hodgepodge of other things like fudge, pirate flags and Maine souvenirs. More importantly, they also have a taxedermied albatross and gorilla, the skin of a giant alligator on the roof and a mummy.

A Gorilla. Possibly Named Gorilla.

It's this kind of goofy attraction that most joints around here are missing. folks like us don't just want to shop, we want to b entertained by your shop! I just wish they'd been smarter about it. None of the animals or mummies had names or cool stories attached. I need a bumper sticker that says I WENT NUTS FOR BILLABONG THE GORILLA AT PERRY'S NUT HOUSE!

The Unknown Mummy.

We ate lunch at a winnebego off the bay in Searsport, ME, a town I liked the look of a lot. The Wiener Wagon only took cash though, so a trip to the ATM was needed. Worth it though. The food was pretty good, just barely above average, but you got to eat it facing the ocean, a humid breeze stealing your napkins. 

O

Our Lunch Spot.

After lunch, we discovered our bad news of the day. Unnoticed, while we were strolling around the streets of Belfast, the hot pavement had burned and blistered poor Ludo's paws! On the way to walk along the beach, he started limping badly and after examining his pads, we had to turn right back around. Pooka seemed fine, but Ludo has lost a layer of skin off of 4 of his pads and is currently swaddled in gauze and socks. I have to lift him off the porch to go to the bathroom, much to his shame.

John's. Home Of The Toe-Shoe Boy.

Most of the rest of the day was derailed after that. We'd planned to cruise around Bangor and a few little places, but Ludo needed to get home, so apart from a stop for ice cream, we went straight back to Topsham.

I just remembered something about the ice cream place. The kid that waited on us was skinny, tall, very goofy looking, and he was wearing a pair of aviator shades with lenses so huge that one half would have sufficed for both his sun guarding needs and the person standing next to him. He was also wearing those horribly ugly shoes they make where each of your toes is separated. Like toe socks made of rubber. He walked silly in them too, like they hurt his feet badly, but he couldn't take them off or the goofiness of the shades would not adequately be balanced on his lower half.

Ludo... Poor Guy.

 

All in all, an okay day. I'd hoped to do a bit more in depth exploring, and next time we'll probably leave the boys home so we can, but Northern Maine is starting to look like an area that we'll really enjoy getting to know.

Road Trip

Now Playing -

Nothin' But A Good Time
by Poison

Life - 

My wife and I both have the day off tomorrow, for the first time in a bit, so we've decided to take a road trip! They're building a new store to the North in Belfast, so I figured we should head up there and check out the area. Not that I have any delusions of getting the store as a manager, but I like to keep up to date with the new stores and it's a good excuse for us to head up there. We've heard we'll like the Northern parts of Maine, they're supposed to be more rural and small-town, with a rougher, laid back feel. Sounds good to me! 

We plan to take the boys with us, they need a good stroll around a new town too. We'll leave Orbie to take care of the cats. I plan to take a good pile of pictures, and I'll see you upon the return!

Reviews Of Unusual Size - 

Books - 

Five Things About....

UNDER THE DOME

by Stephen King

2009, 1074pages, E-Book

 1 - This is the fifth book by Stephen King that I've read, and probably my least favorite. It was still enjoyable, but there were times when I wished he was a new writer again, and had to pare things down to their most important elements to get an agent's attention. I think it would make his books a lot stronger.

2 - As you can tell from the title and knowing King, this novel is about a small Maine town that gets trapped under a mysterious dome and the chaotic, interpersonal events that result.

3 - King does some nice stuff here. Some of the characters are strong and likable, some are perfectly villainous, and there are some fun twists and directions he takes with the story.

4 - All the same, there's that little something that has bothered me about previous King books, and I'm not even sure how to define it. Kind of a... Okay, he's a good guy, and those are clearly very bad guys, so something horrible is gonna happen... get it over with already! kind of thing.

5 - As much as I want to love his books, Stephen King has still always hung on that little nail between annoyance and the love of a great idea. I do know one thing - I love his monthly column in Entertainment Weekly.

6/10

 THE KILLING FLOOR

by Lee Child

1997, 544 pages, E-Book

1 - The first Jack Reacher Novel. This set the standard for all to follow. Short sentences. Tough guy. Pretty Girl. Right Place. Wrong Time. Copious use of the term Cloverleaf.

2 - It had been a while since I'd read a Reacher novel, so when I downloaded the newest, I figured I should re-read the first and refresh my memory. Not that it's neccesary, his novels are nicely stand alone for the most part.

3 - Upon reading this, I kept telling myself that I'd read it before, but none of it was familiar. I'm still not sure if I've just forgotten the entire plot or if I managed to miss the first in the series. Usually I'm pretty anal about that kind of thing.

4 - An interesting, tight plot, that manages to be a bit twisty and introduce Jack as a cool character. 

5 - I love the Reacher novels for being a modern heroic take on the classic crime novel. It's easy to picture Reacher in an earlier time, wearing a fedora and knocking over a payroll truck.

8/10

61 HOURS

by Lee Child

 2010, 400 pages, E-Book

1 - Lee Child's most recent Reacher novel, the 14th, finds Reacher trapped in a small South Dakota town. Snowbound, and because, frankly, it's all Reacher knows how to do to pass the time, he gets involved with a little problem the police are having. And the bodies start piling up.

2 - Read directly after the first book in the series, I have admire the way Child keeps Reacher the same man. Taciturn and tough, but ages him just a bit. 

3 - Great supporting characters this time around. A lot of  his earlier books left me feeling like the people surrounding Reacher were a little weak, but I really liked some of the people in this. The villain in particular would have felt at home in a Bond adventure.

4 - Though I guessed a major point early in, the story was really good. I loved the little town feel of things, and how Child made the novel feel very isolated and cut off from the world. There were a few over the top things, but for the most part, a strong entry in the Reacher series.

5 - Who decided to release a novel about being trapped in a South Dakota town during a fierce winter storm in the middle of summer? Child does a truly excellent job making you feel the harsh, bitter cold of the storm and I think I would have enjoyed it all the more if I was curled up with some hot cocoa and a blanket with the flakes falling outside, rather than 80 degree weather.

9/10

 

Quarterly Reading Update - 2nd Quarter, 2010

I totally forgot that, with the arrival of July, a new quarter has begun! I can't believe 2010 is half over already. Thanks to Tabitha, over at Writer Musings for keeping me on task. She's set a goal of 100 books in 2010, and has a great blog, too.



Well, I called it last quarter, I read less books this time around. I think part of it was work. I was promoted to Executive Assistant Manager at work, which came with a salaried position and longer hours, as well as a longer commute, into Portland every day. I've also been working on my book a bit more.


The List -

HEAT WAVE
by Richard Castle

TOURIST SEASON
by Carl Hiaasen

BLACK LIGHT
by Stephen Hunter

AFRAID
by Jack Kilborn

CUT, PASTE, KILL
by Marshall Karp

TANNER'S TWELVE SWINGERS
by Lawrence Block

TROUBLE IN PARADISE
by Robert B. Parker

NOW & THEN
by Robert B. Parker

BLACKMAILER
by George Axelrod

VOID MOON
by Michael Connelly

PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS – THE LIGHTNING THIEF
by Rick Riordan

DAY BY DAY ARMAGEDDON
by J.L. Bourne

THE POSTMAN
by David Brin 

BLACK CHERRY BLUES
by James Lee Burke

MONSTER PLANET
by David Wellington

UNDER THE DOME
by Stephen King

61 HOURS
by Lee Child

THE KILLING FLOOR
by Lee Child

THE FIRST RULE
by Robert Crais

THE SPLIT
by Richard Stark

DEAD IN THE WATER
by Stuart Woods

That's 21 books, 7,895 pages, or an average of  87 pages per day.


Some interesting stuff this quarter. First of all, my reading has decreased pretty dramatically from last quarter, ten less books and over 3,600 less pages. It's one of my lowest reading amounts since I started keeping track. I'm not 100% sure why it's so much lower, but I think it's a combination of being busy and spending a lot more time at work. It also hurts my numbers when you look at the fact that I'm currently reading 6 other books, all in various places throughout my life. (One in the car, one at work, the bathroom, my ipod, my nook, a physical book)



I loved a few books this time around and hated a few, too. The worst? Monster Planet, bar none. A crappy, self-important, boring book. The best? People are gonna call me a shill, but Cut, Paste, Kill. Hilarious and thrilling. I think it's possible that Marshall Karp can do no wrong. That said, he did have some competition this time around from a new book by Robert Crais and the dependably good James Lee Burke.



A lot less Middle Grade books in this round, likely due to me working on my adult novels and the scarcity of them in digital form.


Coming up? Hopefully Victor Gischler's THE DEPUTY, if I can find a copy! I have Westlake's MEMORY waiting in the wings too. Other than that, it's all up in the air. Does anyone have any suggestions?

No Boom-Boom

Now Playing -
Modern Guilt
by Beck

Life - 

 I've always gotten a kick out of the Fourth Of July, partially because it was the only holiday anywhere near my birthday, but it wasn't a holiday that I got too into. I never went out and bought $300 in fireworks, or rushed out to the reservation to buy the illegal ones they sold, but I did enjoy the day. We'd usually track down some grassy knoll to watch the show and set off a small display at home.  I always enjoyed the carbon snakes and the goofy paper machine ones. Never got too into the loud obnoxious ones or bottle rocket types. 

One thing I did like about the Fourth was picking the watermelon. I was the King. I had a very particular series of criteria that I followed to the letter, every time, and woe to any fool that dared choose a watermelon that I didn't approve of! I may have been a goofy kid, but I can swear, in my admittedly murky memory, not once did anyone pick a better one than mine. My cousin's were always gritty or squishy or less sweet. My melons reigned supreme!

In recent years, the holiday lost a lot of it's luster for me. It became about crowds and obnoxious kids and ridiculous lengths to get to the fireworks show and even more ridiculous lengths to escape the crowds afterwards. And our pups have been a bit upset by the constant popping and whistling that was a constant thing in our neighborhood. And for those of you that might notice I haven't mentioned the patriotic aspect of the holiday... well... you just go back to your hamburger, I'm sure that is supporting the troops somehow. ;) (I just used an emoticon in a blog post to diffuse a vaguely offensive post about the military.... Sheesh.) 

This year is was especially low key. Maine is one of sixteen states to ban fireworks, so I hardly even noticed the holiday approaching without the gypsy style wagons popping up in parking lots, which is kind of a shame. I like the carnival aspect of them. I did buy some steak and a melon at the grocery store while I was buying ice for my work, and we had it this evening, but other than that, the best thing about tonight was my work's choice to not play John Phillip Sousa all day. Hooray for that! 

By the way, melons today pale in comparison to those of my youth. They're genetically modified to extend their shelf life and eliminate seeds, resulting in a lame parody of the juicy, black seeded monstrosities from back in the day. Also, I paid $.45 a pound, which seems entirely far too much. But it was still good, and I managed to cook the steak perfectly on my goofy $35 camp grill.

On a non-fourth of July note, I got corralled by a customer in the parking lot outside of work today who jabbered on for almost ten minutes about how the government is seeding the skies with some sort of mind-controlling aerosol sprays, disguised as jet contrails. His name was Phillip and I'm sure he's perfectly nice, but also... crazypants!  Both of his hands were deformed, with stunted, bulbous fingers, likely some birth defect. I think he decided to expose the government's insidious plots when I didn't flinch at shaking his hand. I got the feeling a lot of people shy away from them, I know I've noticed my cashiers act reluctant to give him his change directly. Doesn't excuse him keeping me from escaping work for an additional ten minutes, though.

A Long Day For Everyone

Now Playing -
Trash by Bob Schneider

Life - 

I hope this isn't the case for all of mankind, but man did it seem like most people I talked to had bad days yesterday. Mine wasn't anything remarkably bad, just a lot of stuff on top of each other. I had to get lobsters again, nothing new there, but my manager, who I suspect can't decide whether he likes me or feels like I was brought in because he's a bad manager and therefore hates me, decided he needed to ride along, to learn how to do it. I mostly think it was an excuse to get out of the store for a few hours... So that was three hours of awkward conversation in my boss's car, with him smoking and utterly disregarding the directions of his increasingly distraught GPS. Upon returning to the store, we found the health inspector, who was thrown for a loop by the lobsters and as a result, even more anal and picky than usual.

After she left, our assistant, who I knew was unhappy in the job, and frankly, not very good at it, announced that he was quitting.

Then our intrepid district manager walked in, intent on making sure our store was ready for the holiday weekend. I didn't get home until almost seven, twelve hours after I'd left the house that morning. Blah.

Lindsay didn't have a much better day, so we decided to kennel the pups and go out to dinner. We chose Pedro O'Hara's because they're awesome and the tables there are secluded and dark and comfortable. Then the night got better. I ordered a Celtic Cheesesteak. Which was the best thing I've ever eaten.

Ever.

We're talking a toasted roll, sauteed onions, peppers, mushrooms. Corned beef. Provolone and blue cheese crumbles. All grilled up until it's crispy and amazing. And served with some nicely seasoned steak fries. If I owned a restaurant, this would be the only thing I served.

So the night ended better than the day before it, with a pleasant walk along downtown Brunswick in the mild summer breeze and a full stomach.

Oh yeah, and as we were walking past a restaurant with outdoor dining, a car screeched to a halt in front of it, the door flew wide, a girl puked spectacularly, croaked a heartfelt "I'm sorry!" and roared off. So it wasn't just us that had a rough day.

I also shaved my head the other day, as part of a contest I had with my employees at work. Shockingly, I did not end up with a horribly creepy lumpy head.

 It's still very odd though.

Writing - 

Did a bit of work on my zombie novel and my post apocalyptic sixties crime novel.

Sesame Street Is The Best!

Orbie is back... and insane. I should point out that he cleaned off my hard drive before downloading the seasons. I hope no one wanted to see our wedding photos again!

Now Playing -
Clocks
by Coldplay

Life - 

It's been a while, hasn't it?  I've been pretty occupied with work and nonsense lately, sorry about those waiting for updates on my thrilling life, or other videos from my roommate, Orbie. (Who should have a new one up Monday)  I'm assuming those people exist...

Nothing too important to report. Still no sign of the ratdog, nor have I seen the mysterious white creature again. I have been sleeping strangely though, with vivid dreams and penguins.

It's been warm out here, warm and humid. I think the thing about that that bugs me the most is the lack of wind. It aint the heat or the humidity, it's the way the air just sits there, wet and sticky. Like a dirty sock, draped over your head while it's still warm. Living in Idaho, the wind was a constant thing. The first thing I considered when buying something for my yard was whether it would blow away. (The saying out there was that Pocatello was so windy because Idaho Falls (To the North) sucks and Utah (To the South) Blows.) So this unmoving air thing kind of freaks me out. I open the windows at night to cool the house down and it's all the same air in the house the next morning!

Funky random storms too, vast, screaming sheets of rain, so thick that the roads fill and your wipers are ineffectual, then 3 minutes later, nothing. I love that.

Reviews Of Unusual Size

Five Things About...

BOOKS - 

HEAT WAVE

By Richard Castle

2009, 208 pages, E-Book

1 - The first in a new series by critically acclaimed thriller author Richard Castle, starring Detective Nikki Heat. Inspired by the author's shadowing of a detective team.

2 - A fairly standard thriller/detective novel. Not an extremely thick plot weighing things down, but decent fun. I got a kick out of the secondary detective team and Castle's prose was basic but enjoyable.

3 - An odd little beast, this book. I had a hard time reading it as itself, as my knowledge of the background kept influencing my thoughts. Sometimes for the better, other times not so much. I actually like Castle himself much better than the main character in this, a reporter.

4 - For those that don't know, Richard Castle is actually a fictional character, played by Nathan Fillion on the television program CASTLE. He plays an award-winning author shadowing a detective for his next book, Heat Wave. So this is a book written by a fictional character based loosely around his fictional exploits with a non-existent detective. This book is referenced in the program and has just enough inside jokes to be almost ridiculous. Synergy!

5 - Authors James Patterson, Michael Connelly and Stephen J. Cannell all guest star in the TV series as Castle's poker buddies. There are rumors that one of them actually wrote this book, but it's more likely that it was written by the showrunners. For one thing, those authors would make a lot more money of their name was on the cover.

3/5

Foggy Rattlebottom!

Now Playing -
King Kong Kitchee Kitchee Ki-Mi-Yo by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Life - 

I just lit my toaster oven on fire. Apparently, leaving the foil you cooked some oiled up taters on the night before in the oven while pre-heating it is a poor idea. With an oily, stinky, foggy, nasty result. But I think my oven is still fine. Crappy cheap frozen taquitos from work for dinner, comin atcha! (Or comin' at me, anyway.)

Why are taquitos, which is roughly "Small Taco" in Spanish, really small burritos? Shouldn't it be Burritoquitos? Which is really fun to say, once you get the hang of it....

That's all I've got for ya.

Return Of The Ratdog

Now Playing -
The Devil's Dance Floor by Flogging Molly

Life -
Not a lot going on here, just work, work and a little bit of work on the side. I did take my photo clerk with me on my last lobster pickup, which was a fun change from  my usual monotonous drive out to the co-op and back. We also stopped and looked at some puppies in a shop, where they had a Sharpei-Pug mix. Man, that's a goofy looking dog.

There's a little Min-Pin Ratdog that lives somewhere nearby that keeps showing up to bark at my dogs like a little bully. I don't know where it lives, but I hate the little yapper. It keeps barking till my boys are riled up, then taking off. I called the cops/animal control about it, but they said that unless it was on my property when they came, they couldn't do a lot about it, which seems like nonsense.

It tormented me for about three hours the other night, only leaving when I finally got dressed and chased it angerly off my property. I probably looked like a crazy man, but I did get a bit of satisfaction out of it when I barked back at it and it yelped, wet itself and ran away...

Writing - 

I continued working on my new kid's book, codenamed WV for now, just to be goofy and mysterious. I'm over 2,500 words right now.

I wonder about the whole secretive codenames when it comes to work in progress manuscripts (WIP MS) I noticed that a lot of authors scarcely mention their subject matter, let alone the title or any real details. Is this some sort of deep seated superstition? I suppose there could be some real concern with someone scalping your ideas, especially if they're extremely unique, but is that a very real concern?

I can only assume that if someone stumbled across my plans for the Robotic Hand Detective & The Case Of The Voodoo Rings, even if they thought it was the best idea they'd ever read, would they go to the trouble of writing their own book based off of it? I do have a lot of powerful movie and TV people that peruse my blog, amongst the millions of readers ROUS boasts, but how many of you are going to steal that idea and develop a TV series around it?

The Last Sentence - 

And that's not even mentioning the glittery body powder.

From - "W.V." (WIP)

Lego Board Games!

Now Playing -
Meet Me Halfway by The Black Eyed Peas

Life - 

We celebrated Ludo's fourth birthday yesterday. We took him to the pet store and let him drag me around to meet all of the other dogs, paraded him around on a walk and bought him a bag of rawhides. I think he liked it. We usually buy him a new collar for his birthday, but his older one was still in pretty good shape, so we went with something he would enjoy. It's hard to believe that he's that old. He still acts like a puppy.

Pooka enjoyed it too!

Writing - 

I started on a new book the last couple of days. Only wrote one chapter, but the idea is really fun, and I like the main character's voice a lot. Onward!


Reviews Of Unusual Size


Games


Five things about...

MAGIKUS
by Lego
2-4 players, 10-20 minutes per game




1 - Lego just recently released this line of board games featuring their pieces. This is awesome for many different reasons, but I only have room for five. The most important of which is that this is a buildable board game from Lego! How cool is that? Even the dice is buildable. You can put different panels on it, different colors, anything!

2 - At first, Magikus seems like an overly simple game. You select a row with the owl, roll the dice and collect a magical ingredient for your spell that matches the color that shows. Once you have all four, you can cast your spell and win the game!


3 - It seems simple, but then the magic of Legos enter the picture. They actively encourage you to change up the game! Add the bat into play and block your opponent. Steal their ingredients. Choose your own mix of ingredients before the game starts. The options really become almost endless once you start playing around.

4 - I love it because it's a pretty quick little game. You can play a round in ten minutes or so, change the rules, and play another. It isn't one of those games that you have to set aside 4 hours to play. (And that's a short game for Risk and Monopoly...)

5 - A couple of little things - I have an incredibly hard time remembering to move the stupid owl before I roll. The die, which is pretty cool has rubbery corners and will go everywhere, often becoming a kind of Lego wrecking ball for your carefully placed magical ingredients. It doesn't come with any minifigs. I was hoping for the Witch and Wizard on the cover of the box.

5/5

This game was great. Simple enough for my new roommate, Orbie, but complex enough to keep us entertained too! I can't wait to try out some of their other games. 

Our New Roommate!

Rainy Beaches and a Chocolate Moose

Now Playing -
You Run Away by Barenaked Ladies

Life - 

Today is how a day off should be. Especially when you consider it was kind of a work-related trip. We sell live Maine lobsters at work, the only drug store in the nation to do so, and I've kind of become the Lobster Manager by default, dealing with the tank, keeping us in stock, etc... And one of the best/worst parts is actually obtaining the creepy little things. It means an hour of driving down to a small town called Pine Point, to the south of Portland to the lobster co-op, a drive that I'm not too fond of, but the guys at the lobster place are pretty cool, and the route takes me along Old Orchard Beach, which is the closest thing we've found to an old fashioned beach here in Maine. 

So, when we found out I'd need to get some extra lobster for an event at work on Monday, we decided to head there on my day off so that I could take Lindsay with me and wander around the beach. 

Of course, we awoke to rain. Which was fine by us. We love wandering around little beach towns in the rain, that's why we love Washington and Oregon so much! We got going pretty early, splitting a huge breakfast burrito at the Fairground Restaurant in Topsham and swinging by the store for some cash and something to bring the crustaceans back in. The roads were a bit gnarly on the way south, but nothing too horrible, but we did take a couple of brief detours to Toys-backwards R-Us, where we picked up a few Lego minifigs and a Lego board game (More on that some other time) we also swung by Len Libby's, a chocolate shop that boasts a 1,700 pound solid chocolate moose. Which was goofy, but kind of cool. He was also accompanied by a couple of dark chocolate bear cubs, a white chocolate pond and an indifferent cashier. 

A bag of puffed molasses caught our fancy and later in our teeth, and we hit Old Orchard. Essentially two streets, lined by all manner of motel, hotel, b&b, vacation rental and parking lots, Old Orchard does suffer a bit in comparison to other towns we've vistied, but I liked it all the same. They have a charmingly rickety amusement park and a pier filled with diversions jutting out into the ocean. Everyone seems to sell "Fried Dough" and "Pier Fries" and there were a ridiculous amount of clothing stores. Apparently, no one visits the beach wearing anything, which must make for some awkward first arrivals.

Of course, being a rainy Thursday at the first of the season, virtually no one was open and we saw a surprising number of vacant storefronts. Maybe those fill up for the summer, but it left some stretches of street feeling a bit forlorn. 

We grabbed some fries at a window dedicated to selling fires and nothing but, and wandered up the street for lunch at Al's "Famous" roast beef. We later learned that Al's was a new arrival from Boston, so I'm not sure where it was famous, but we were kept entertained within, if nothing else. Al's is a tiny place, only a few tables and a long, narrow hall leading back to the kitchen, and that space was filled by nearly a dozen silver haired ladies from New Hampshire that had ridden a bus up there for the day. 

They were all waiting for food, chatting in an odd combination of good natured ribbing and crotchety old lady complaining. A large black man, who we assumed worked nearby had stopped in for an order and found himself playing waiter for the ladies while the cooks were having some sort of issue in the kitchen. It was a kick to watch them all together.

When our food finally arrived, we took it outside and ate outside of a nearby church on some steps, in a drizzle that was just light enough to be pleasant. The roast beef was great. Light, super-tender and plentiful. We also got a Steak and Cheese... something. Which ended up being a small tube of shredded steak and cheese wrapped in egg-roll covering and deep fried. Very odd.

There was a great candy shop open though, filled with freshly pulled taffy, dancing jelly beans, homemade caramel corn, fudge, wham-zingers, rock candy and any other old-school candy you could think of. I would imagine the place in summer would be packed to the gills but still worth visiting just for the ambiance. 

Next door was a game store with more puzzles than I have ever seen in my life, including the worlds largest, a 23,000 piece puzzle. (Which was a horribly gaudy compilation of bright images that I could never possibly fathom spending the time it would take to complete staring at it.) We browsed for a bit, until the batty ladies from across the street wandered in and we made our escape, walking contentedly back to the car.

A lot of fun. We'll have to come back later in the season though, there were a few shops that looked interesting that were closed, and the entire pier, which looked like it was filled with all manner of fun things, was closed too.

Then we went to my lobster guys. Who are awesome. Legit, ruddy faced fishermen, I love coming here. They unload the boats right out back and know their Sea Cockroaches. He chatted with us for a while (I was looking into starting a shipping service with my work) and he showed off for Lindsay a bit, giving us an education on lobsters, using a few 4 pound beasts as examples. The entire trip was worth it just to see Lindsay's face. 

We can't wait to have some friends or family come out to visit so that we can hit the beach for a day, get a couple of lobsters on the way home and have them for dinner. (Hint hint..)

 Reviews Of Unusual Size
 
Books 


Five Things About...

TOURIST SEASON
by Carl Hiaasen
1987, 384 pages, e-book

1 - This was my introduction to Hiassen, back in the day, and one of his first novels, though he did write a few crime novels previously with Willaim D. Montalbano. (Which I thought were really great.)

2 - When a terrorist group pops up in Florida, with the goal of scaring everyone in the state away, crippling the tourism industry and giving the place back to the animals, it was never going to be easy catching them, especially when the PI on the case knows the leader. And when they use a giant crocodile to do their dirty work.

3 - I've always like Hiassen, and this book is one of his better ones. It has a wacky plot and bizzaro characters, while still retaining a bit of a message about the history and wildlife of Florida.

4 - It's interesting to re-read his earlier books. Hiassen's style of writing hasn't changed much, but he seemed a lot less hesitant back then to go over the top. Which sounds funny in reference to a book that features men in suitcases, beauty pageants and shriners with guns.

5 - That cover above? Crappity-crap! It's like one of those artists that get big bucks selling badly photoshopped pictures of dogs with tennis balls in their mouths at L.L. Bean just started out, and only had fingerpaints.

4/5

Now Leaving Moonstone Bay

Now Playing -
My wife is watching The Truth About Cats and Dogs behind me on her computer so I guess... that.

Life - 

Yesterday, when I got home from work and went to make some delicious dinner, I found our propane tank empty and gas stove inoperable. Now, I got that puppy filled around three months ago, and only use it for the one burner on the stove, roughly every other day. I've never had gas appliances before, but $90 for 90 days of operating one stove burner seems prohibitively expensive.  I can't help but think there was either a leak, an improperly filled cylinder or some other sort of shenanigans. Or is it supposed to last for such a short time?

Either way, we said "Forget it" went out and bought a single burner hot plate and had them pull our cylinder. We were pretty unhappy with their service in other areas too, so it wasn't just the propane. Now I have to get used to cooking with cast-iron on an electric burner! 

We also bought dog food today! Between the two, our dogs eat around 10 cups of food a day, so it seems to go really fast. Their food is one area we refuse to skimp on, and still serve them Science Diet dog food. We really do feel that the food keeps their coats shiny, their breath fresher and is pretty healthy for them. It's also spendy. So every time we need food, we use every trick in the book we can get our hands on.

Ludo Will Pout For Food

Step One - Buy in bulk. PetCo offers a 10% discount if you buy at least 200lbs of a brand at once. They don't advertise it, but it's a great deal. 

Step Two - Scour the internet for coupons. Science Diet usually has pretty good coupons available, you just have to hunt for them.

Step Three - Join their club in the right area. Apparently, the PetCo Club card offers different deals depending on where you live. Out here, we get a free shampoo after ten. Big Whoop. Back in Idaho however, they offered a free bag with the purchase of ten, which we are still grandfathered in to out here.

Step Four - Sales - A no brainer, but vital when the difference is $10 a bag.

Using all of these today, we bought six 35lb bags of Science Diet Large Breed dog food. Normally, before tax, this would have cost $239.94 or $1.14 a pound. But today, with everything taken off, it cost us $125.94, or $.60 a pound. That's right baby. We rock. Oh yeah, and that gets us more than halfway towards a free bag, to boot!

The dogs were a little mad that we went to the pet store without us, but their eyes always get so happy when they see that food piled up.

Reviews Of Unusual Size - 

Books

Five Things About...

BLACK LIGHT
by Stephen Hunter
 2003, 464 pages, e-book

1 - This is the second book featuring Bob The Nailer, a retired marine sniper. I enjoyed the first, which inspired the film Shooter. This time, Bob teams with a young journalist who wants to uncover the truth behind Bob's father's death.

2 - Bob is a hardcore mother who has the same appeal as Lee Child's Reacher or Daniel Craig's Bond, but he does like to go on and on about the specifics of the guns he's using. Or saw. Or held 15 years ago. Or wanted to hold... You get the idea.

3 - The story is a strong one, though I felt that the ending's big reveal came a little abruptly.

4 -Great, well rounded characters, in both the present day and the past.

5 - Too bad I had trouble keeping what was going on separate. Which I do not believe was the author's fault. The e-book I was reading seemed very strangely formatted, with no indication when I was suddenly in the head of a different character in a different time frame.

3/5

AFRAID
by Jack Kilborn
2009, 384 pages, e-book

1 - Jack Kilborn is the pseudonym of Joe Konrath, the creator of the Jack Daniels series of books and e-book advocate. Check out his blog, it's very interesting reading.

 2 -  It doesn't take long for residents of a small town to  start dying in creative ways when a supercharged and ruthless group of killers arrive, looking for someone...

3 - Filled with some nice suspense, some nasty baddies and characters that you'd best not get attached to, Afraid is the perfect outlet for Kilborn's nasty side. 

4 - Like most books, I got annoyed by the child in Afraid but Kilborn does get some nice characterization in there for him.

5 - Aside from the first Percy Jackson, this is the only novel my little nephew has ever read. He's twelve and while I applaud him tackling a book this size, after reading it, I wish he'd chosen a more appropriate book for his age. 

4/5

Writing - 

I'm still working on GRAVES, writing up the final couple of chapters before I edit each chapter by character, in an attempt to inject some more specific personalities to 'em.

I have also come to a difficult decision. Moonstone Bay is going to have to fade into my taillights for a while. I'm not leaving it forever, I don't think I could. I love the characters and location too much for that. And that's precisely why I've decided to stop writing it. I don't think my writing is strong enough for a book like The Whispering Ferns yet. I feel like I'm ready to start publishing my writing, but not the Moonstone Bay Mysteries. I want them to be some of my favorite work, not something I look back on in ten years and cringe about. That first book has to be good enough to justify the sequels I have planned. There's pirate treasure to bury, Sasquatches to track, to say nothing of Smith's parents!

So they're going to go on the back burner for a while. I have a few other irons in the fire and it's time to take a hammer to one of them. Maybe one about vampires. They're hot right now, aren't they?