Ahh Work.

SO last night an unusual gentleman entered the place of my work around 3am. He was rotund, a little squirrelly looking, had a limp and was wearing two coats. He had that look; like someone that was full of self-loathing, but acted confident around people, though it was clearly an act? The kind of guy that immediately grates on you because he looks shady and fake.

Also, 3am is my goofing off and doing nothing time, so that's one strike right there, buddy!

He wanders the aisles for a while, poking this, fondling that, never carrying anything with him, not really looking lost so much as appearing to be waiting for the right moment. Finally, I cornered him in the appliance aisle and asked him if he needed any help.

He asked me if the store carried plastic plunger handles. Now, we've got a little bit of everything, and lord knows people need some queer things in the wee hours of the night, so I politely showed him our plungers we did carry, a wooden handled generic model and something called the Ultimate Plunger, which looked like a G.I. Joe bludgeon of some sort. He shook his head sadly and said that they wouldn't work and continued on his browsing way.

About twenty minutes later I was called to the pharmacy to help with a coupon problem, only to see the gentleman at the counter there. Seems that one of the items he was buying was supposed to be on sale. As I approached, Mr. Wizard, my pharmacist found the coupon but I was curious what the fellow had decided to buy.

A coloring book, a waterproof personal massager, a vibrating ring condom and three, count 'em, three different bottles of lube.


I can only pray that he also had a broken plunger at home that needed a handle and that the items were unrelated. And that I can sell a book eventually and stop working graves.

Lost on the Toy Aisle

Life -

I just spent two nights straight resetting the toys in my store to the new plan that the head office has thoughtfully created. It always boggles my mind that they've gotta have some vague clue that the computer program they use for the dimensions of stuff has to have some errors, yet they leave no margin for it in their designs. It takes hours of re-jiggering things to get everything to fit and look nice, especially in the toy section. Then, naturally, some bratty kid whose parents don't find it important to watch him, comes along and trashes everything. I spent a lot of the early evening cleaning up messes and glaring viciously at ragamuffins.

We also had a group of inbred hillbillies, a term in this case that I mean very literally, like "Hey you guys!" inbred, come in with their drunk and wasted friend, face painted up with marker, wearing nothing but a sweatshirt and they filmed her as they ran around the store. They were telling her she was at the prom and I think that she was both out of it and mentally challenged enough that she believed them. I was tempted to stop it, but maybe later, once the rest of them sober up and watch the footage, one of them will feel some sort of shame and eat the black end of a shotgun or at least think twice before doing it again.

Bleak, I know, but people that are as cruel as these yokels were really get my hackles up.

Made a simple meal out of some noodles, a can of Snow's Clam Chowder and some spices, quick and quite tasty, the recipe is on the back of the can. If you can find Snow's I recommend it wholeheartedly. My fave of the canned chowders. Which is to say it still tastes nothing like real chowder...

Writing -

Wrote another chapter and a half in Graves. At this point I'm pretty much just waiting out the clock until I have some days off...

The Last Sentence -

There's something about the word 'Zombie' that sounds ludicrous.

From - "Graves" (WIP)